Price and Joba should go make out or something

Revenge never works, David Price.

NEVER.

Especially when it explodes out of you like diarrhea.

And there’s stink ALLLLLL over Tropicana Field.

You revenge seekers NEVER learn, do you?

Look at what happened to Adrianna on 90210. The new crappy one.

Not the old awesome one.

Someone told me… at the water cooler… because that’s where you find out these things, not from actually watching the show yourself. Oh no. Cool people would never, never ever watch it on cwtv.com of their own free, free will. I don’t even know what cwtv.com is. I read it somewhere. On a bathroom stall, maybe. Adrianna, see, she stole chic hair style chick’s psycho meds, causing chic hair style chick to go off the deepend. But Adrianna got caught, see. And now she’s this ostracized loser with no prospects. On a beach. In Beverly Hills. With money. And TMZ stalkers. Um.

David Price, you belong on 90210. You would do quite well. You need more hair gel. Um. Or a gimmick? Like a douchy hat or something.

So Not-Nice-Price throws a rock at K-Youk’s shoulder. Not. Nice.

Andddddddd, they’re saying on purpose. Which, in the replay (there are replays), it’s way suspicious. There’s smirking. And this confrontational forward movement thing.

The ump was all over it, which was weird. Glaring at MY Kevin Youkilis, which was weird, since it was so early in the game. He know something I don’t?

But CHECK OUT THIS ARTICLE about how Price’s temper tantrum may have cost them the game.

See… and it was a temper tantrum, apparently caused by Youk’s foot hitting Casey Crotchman Wednesday- a move even the Crotchmaster himself said was an accident.

“I know he didn’t mean to do it,” Kotchman told Marc Topkin of the St. Petersburg Times.

Did this punk go after you on purpose, Youkie-poo?

“I mean, there’s a base open, I just thought he doesn’t have that bad a command a lot of times and, you know, I’m more mad because [the pitch] is up pretty high,” he said. “The ball hits me up in the shoulder, and then hits my hand. If I get hit, you know me, I get hit a ton of times, it’s not a big deal, but I don’t like when the ball’s up real high.”

What?! Did this ass come toward you off the mound?

“Ask him. You gotta ask him that question,” Youkilis said. “And don’t answer that question for me, either. I’m saying that right now. I have no comment on that. You have to ask him. I want that written like that, too.”

Think it had to do with Crotchman?

“I don’t understand the Kotchman thing,” he said. “I don’t know. I think it was an accident running, lunging out, my foot came up over [Kotchman’s foot]. My toe, if you watch in very slo-mo, was up pointed like I usually run, and hit his Achilles or his ankle. I’ve been stepped on at first base and we don’t retaliate against anybody.”

Of course you don’t, baby.

Listen, 25-year-old David Taylor Price, you’ve just been placed on my no fly list. Every time you’re on the mound, EVERY time, I will be squinting my eyes at you, be it live on screen or afterward in highlights. I will be squinting my eyes at you and thinking loads of bad thoughts. Like, about what would happen if the mound turned into a giant mouth and ate your brain.

And my negativity occasionally causes pitching slumps and Tommy John surgery (ask JOBA), so be prepared for that.

You, Mr. Price, have just trumped Curtis Granderson as enemy number one.

No one messes with MY YOUKILIS. Except. Um. You know, everyone. How many HBP does that make it?

Drat.

~L

Thanks to FDA for bringing this horrible atrocity to light. I always knew she loved K-Youk too. Too bad I found him first.