Home > Sox Game Recaps > The blister that tried to bring down Boston

The blister that tried to bring down Boston

You know, they make special kinds of band-aids for blisters, Clay.

They are like six dollars. And they DO NOT make them with Dora the Explorer cartoons. But they’re okay, I guess.

We won. I am thrilled.

A blister?????

Really??????

NEOSPORIN. Stat.

WHAT? He’s had this blister for weeks? WHAT? What kind of blister IS this?

On your FINGER?

Now news sites are now calling your problem “back stiffness.”

Well, that at least sounds more manly. I’d stick with that.

Seriously- a BLISTER? And it took today’s game to figure this out? I heard this blond joke this one time about a blond (or is it blonde?) who is at the doctor’s office saying things like, “when I touch my back it hurts, when I touch my head it hurts, when I touch my leg it hurts, what is it, doc?” And the doctor says, “easy, you’ve got a broken finger, blondie!”

Was it like that, Clay? Clay, darling, I’d stick to the back stiffness. Sounds a bit better for egos. (as in EGOs, not the waffles) Speaking of Clay, Redsox.com, could you get a NEW picture of Clay pitching, please? In that one, he looks like he’s having an aneurysm. Maybe that’s what a FINGER BLISTER looks like.

Speaking of reallies… Jed, why do you ALWAYS have to prove me right? As everyone’s Scutting (pun! pun!) onto the Jed Lowrie bandwagon, I keep saying he’ll be injured. That’s his thing. You know. Everyone has a thing. Beckett’s thing is being a badass. K-Youk’s thing is frick-tastic homeruns. Jed’s thing is the DL list.

Okay. So. Johnny Paps. Dear. You stressed me the frick out. A double? With Casey Crotchman? Really? If A-Gonz hadn’t painted the sky with that homer, I might have had a stress seizure. You know what that’s called? A stresszure.

Speaking of Casey Crotchman… what’s with the sudden badassishness? Really? You caused this blister, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU????

AND STOP HITTING K-YOUK WITH PITCHES!!!!! Are you bitter about hockey, Tampa? Is this because K-Youk looks like a hockey player? Don’t make me reach into that television screen. I’ll juice you. Juice you and give Tropicana Field a whole new motto.

This game was irrationally close. We almost Posada-ed ourselves. Side note: Why isn’t that catching on? Seriously. Blogger friends, can you try to use Posada as a verb at least twice this week? That would help. Thanks.

EWWWWWW. Do NOT do a Google image search on the word “blister.” That would be stupid with a capital “S.”

You know. I have a job where I use my fingers too, Clay.

I type every day. For most of my day. It is sad. And pathetic. Uber-pathetic. Sooooooo pathetic.

If I had a finger blister and told my boss I couldn’t make deadline because of said blister, he wouldn’t be nice and hand me a tube of neosporin.

A blister.

Hmmm. Did you know that the word blister comes from an old French term describing Leprosy?

You are welcome. This blog is full of fun facts to know and tell at parties.

Speaking of parties, I am doing another pre-bed-time shot at 11:15, est. Join me! It will be the shot heard round the world.

I am running out of that case of Keystone Light my mover friend left at my apartment.

I might have to spend actual money on booze.

I need to make rich friends.

WIKIPEDIA says your blister was likely caused by friction, ie: rubbing.

What were you rubbing, Clay????

Blisters can also be caused by frostbite? And chemical exposure??? Or an insect bite? Did an insect bite you on the finger? Stop sticking your finger near insects!

Turtles are not insects. They are reptiles.

Diseases can also cause blisters. Clay, do you have… let’s see… bullous pemphigoid?

I’m just trying to help!

~L

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Categories: Sox Game Recaps
  1. FireDannyAinge
    June 16, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    Burrows is an insect. Maybe he bit Clay?

    • June 16, 2011 at 11:57 pm

      i just don’t understand. it must be a super blister. like a blister beast.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    June 17, 2011 at 12:45 am

    Did you read this?

    http://espn.go.com/blog/boston/red-sox/post/_/id/11809/price-hits-youkilis-rays-pay-price

    I hate David Price. I wish someone would bean him and I mean that.

    EVERY time the Rays don’t win they pull crap like this.

  3. FireDannyAinge
    June 17, 2011 at 1:25 am

    http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=310616130

    More fun. The losers threw out the first pitch and then Tampa lost. Classic

  4. June 17, 2011 at 8:10 am

    I really love your blog. It starts my day off just right. Thank you!

  5. June 17, 2011 at 8:48 am

    “What were you rubbing, Clay?” Did any beat (oops) reporter ask him that question? Sounds like an ESPN Outside The Lines feature to me…”Blisters In Baseball, The Inside Story”…with Bob Ley moderating of course. You know, they don’t make Band-Aids like they used to. I had the hardest time finding old-school ones. All these new ones are made from Field-Turf or something…

  6. June 17, 2011 at 9:38 am

    you are welcome, BH. i am flattered. that’s not easy to do.
    well. um… i guess it is easy to do.
    but thank you.
    SA- if i were heidi watney, i would ask. that’s why you should vote for me to be the next heidi watney.
    it’s time the red heads took the country back!

  1. June 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm

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