‘A private medical issue’- Like privately pumping up your biceps, Ryan Braun?

Poor Ryan Braun. Getting asterix jokes when allllllll he’s trying to do is take medication for a “private medical issue.”

I’m sorry, Ryan, but syphilis meds don’t show up on a juice test.

Was that mean?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Ryan. Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt.

Because that way, we can drag this out a bit.

I mean, if it were me, the medical issue wouldn’t be so “private.” I mean, I don’t think my name would look pretty next to a big, giant asterix. But, whatever, Ryan Braun. I’m sure it’s a perfectly normal, non-syphillis illness.

And I’m sure a big baseball star like you sooooooo can’t afford doctors that understand medicine and its impact on steroid testing.

And I’m sure that, if a full investigation finds you guilty of juicing, our judicial system will hold you fully accountable- with hefty consequences.

Oh… wait…

~L