Your daily injection! Braun’s still not talking about his syph-um… private medical issue. Oh. And Minka gets another gift basket.
Ryan Braun, stalked by TMZ AGAIN today… once AGAIN offers no explanation for his PED test…
See, as I reported last week, I could totally buy the “private medical issue” excuse- provided you give us a little more of an explanation.
I mean, if someone accuses me of something horrible and immoral… like… um… puppy murder. Or homeless sleeping bag stealing. Or, you know, steroids… I fess up my alibi. Even if my alibi is something less than Lauren-y. Like. Um. A Gossip Girl marathon over ice cream and regret. I mean, embarrassing is better than puppy murder or steroids, right?
Ryan Braun… is it syphilis? You can tell us. Christopher Columbus had that, you know. It’s Hep C, isn’t it? Leprosy?
We all know my opinion on the ‘roid issue. For new readers- I say exactly what David Ortiz has said-
“Ban ‘em for the whole year.”
Except I add a “forever.”
Give us SOMETHING, Ryan Braun. Apparently, there are people that look up to you. An excuse. Any excuse, really, would be better than the flaky attitude you’ve been flicking at us. There might be an explanation.
“I tell you, I don’t know too much about steroids, but I started listening about steroids when they started to bring that shit up, and I started realizing and getting to know a little bit about it. You’ve got to be careful. I used to buy a protein shake in my country. I don’t do that any more because they don’t have the approval for that here, so I know that, so I’m off of buying things at the GNC back in the Dominican (Republic). But it can happen anytime, it can happen. I don’t know. I don’t know if I drank something in my youth, not knowing it.”
You could say SOMETHING, Ryan Braun. Celebrities don’t get privacy, see. But you do get millions of dollars, hence the me-not-feeling-sorry-for-you.
Oh, Braun… that’s not a shadow following you around…
That’s an asterisk.
In other ridiculous roidy news- Alex Rodriguez is OFF THE MARKET.
Thank GOD, the market says. Until the market examines the catch. That catch is Torrie Wilson who, judging from the pictures, may share A-Roid’s juicing hobby. I don’t see this working out. I mean, what if they BOTH see a reflective surface? Staring at that window pane could waste a whole day, guys. Alex, it is such a newsy week for you.
Does anyone else think that A-Roid’s hookups will be a reality show some day?
There. Now, don’t we all feel dumber?
You’re welcome, America.
PS- Speaking of steroids- interesting position on Jeff Bagwell- read it HERE.