Sorry, cops! No juice for you! Your daily injection.

So much steroid news this week! So we better get started.

Here’s your daily injection. Because it looks like this is going to need to be a daily dose.

Apparently, coproids (<- think that could catch on?) are a BIG problem in New Jersey. Apparently, an investigation found cops (ahem, coproids) and firefighters (fireroids) using gov benefits to juice. Seriously. Steroids: Not just for baseball.

New Jersey paid more than $11 million in 2010 for steroid and growth hormone prescriptions for state employees.

Meanwhile, back on the courtmound, Roger Clemens trial is underway… jurors are being asked about vitamin use. Somehow, I don’t think they’re talking flintstones. Seriously. Going to help you out. Ask if they’re Boston Red Sox fans.

But the saga gets a new, hilarious chapter. BLACKMAIL! Seriously. It is like a spy novel.

…it appears this is the defense that is supposed to keep him out of a perjury conviction and out of jail:
That his former trainer Brian McNamee kept syringes and blood and all the rest of it in case he might want to blackmail an innocent man someday.

Okay, Jason Bourne.<– Movie reference

Another of his clients? Andy Pettitte. But apparently not worthy of blackmail? Not to mention the little gem that Andy Pettitte said McNamee GAVE HIM THE SUBSTANCES.

Honestly. 8 katrillion in legal fees and THIS IS ALL YOU’VE GOT, ROGER?

Oy. Maybe Casey Anthony’s lawyer has some free time, Rog…

B-12. Riiigggghhhhttt. Because that doesn’t come in a pill.

This is like a bad novel with a circulation of 15.

I get those sometimes. Seriously. People send me photocopied novels for review. Things like this? Would tottallllyyyyyy get equal eye roll time from me.

And now they bring Sammy Sosa into this?

This will not end well for anyone.

THANKS, ROGER CLEMENS.

In other news, Debi Clemens revamped her website.

Wow.

And don’t think this is confined to America. Oh no…

At least we won today. And at least this doesn’t involve us. Today. Please, my Red Sox, don’t make me read an article about you juicing. Thanks.

~L