NO. No. We do NOT want you here. GO HOME, JOE TORRE.

Okay. I know I said I needed to breathe. I know I said that.

AND THEN I READ THIS.

The Boston Red Sox and manager Terry Francona are expected to part ways today after Boston’s epic collapse in the final month of the 2011 MLB regular season. What should the Red Sox do to replace the manager who brought them two World Series titles after 86 years of futility and heartbreak? Turn to former New York Yankees manager Joe Torre, that’s what.

No.

In an informal poll of the Boston Business Journal newsroom, one name came up repeatedly: Joe Torre.

WHO is doing this? WHO? THIS is why business people should NOT write about sports.

Just… NO.

Joe TORRE? TORRE?

Do you remember… were you there… do you know… do you KNOW how irritating he was? HE MADE ME GRIND MY TEETH, Soxies. HE MADE ME GRIND MY TEETH.

REMEMBER 2004? REMEMBER? Remember how good it was to defeat, not just the Yankees, not just Steinbrenner, but JOE TORRE? JOE TORRE.

Okay.

Back to breathing. Your regularly ranty Lauren will be back eventually. She just needs to BREATHE.

~L

JOE TORRE?

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE WORLD????????

Breathing… breathing…