Not yet. One game… victory. And a sweet Papi-esque stomp at that. Exactly what I was in the mood for.
But this game?
Blah. Who does this Verlander guy think he is? Verlander kind of sounds like Highlander. There can be only one.
It will be Beckett. Right, guys? Now, I’m just tuning in, (officially 100 percent moved! huzzah! but my back and brain hurt) so I’m not altogether clear on the drama…
But 4 hits to our 2? 2 runs to our… none? What’s going on, guys?
And Detroit… you’re starting to play. Did the rain give you super powers? Was it like, radioactive rain? Like the kind of rain that turns geeks like Peter Parker into spiderman?
Oh. That was a spider bite. It says so here on wikipedia.
But I’m sure there was a super hero in comic book world that got that way from acid rain.
Thanks, Google. But that is not what I meant….
Maybe it was Captain Planet.
Ohmygod I loved that show.
Josh Beckett could so be Captain Planet. You know. If Josh Beckett was green and relied on magical electricity from jewelry.
Josh Beckett. He’s our hero. He’s going to take Detroit down to zero…
This beer feels great. Like, really great.
Like, Lauren’s body was melting away like… like… acid rain? And this beer put her together again.
So, I lifted this gigantic dresser up my stairs today. I need to take a picture of these stairs and show you. Even someone with amazing shoulder muscles like Kevin Youkilis would have trouble He-manning these stairs.
I had help. An editor at my paper and I broke my wall (kind of), our faces (almost) and our dignity to get this thing up a narrow, narrow staircase, through a loft and into a bedroom.
It was dramatic.
See, Beckett, if I could do that, you could win this game for us.
When I have the strength to push a button on a camera, I will totally show you.
Speaking of strength, this beer is strong.
It’s mocha stout from Highland Brewing Company! <- A North Carolina brewer.
This Verlander guy is smarmy. Can’t you tell? He has a swagger. Swaggers are stupid. He should drink a highlander. It would help with his swagger. Then he would be Verlander. With a Highlander. Working on his swagger.
I am going to walk my puppy. Drink another beer. And splash cold water on my face like eight times.
I. Will. Be. Back. It is 9:46. Please do not let them do anything dumb.
10:19. Painful… Where is our offense? Maybe they moved dressers today too. I hear it takes a lot out of you…