Home > Uncategorized > Coming out as a Soxzombie. This REALLY just happened to me.

Coming out as a Soxzombie. This REALLY just happened to me.

So. Today I did something. It was a big something. And it’s something that I’ve been meaning to do for awhile. I just couldn’t keep living the double life. I have to be myself, you know?

So I came out.

As a Red Sox fan.

To the boy. The one I date from Boone. The one who visits me.

It was…


Remember the perfect-dream-guy? The one that didn’t call me months ago? And the one that decided to call me before I moved to Raleigh? The boy from Boone?

Yep. That one.

So, he knew I was a Red Sox fan.

But he didn’t know I was a Red Sox FAN.

To prepare him, I took him to a minor league soccer game yesterday. The Railhawks.

We all know I don’t give a frick about soccer. But I do love yelling. It was interesting to see his eyes do that “I’m-with-crazy” thing when I threw my thunderstick and yelled obscenities at the ref.

He said, “Oh. I am beginning to get it. This must be what you’re like.”

I said, “Yes, except I actually CARE about the Red Sox.”

I then had to explain to him what a Soxzombie is. I started out with a few benefits of dating a Soxzombie- of which there are several.

I mean, how often can you predict a girl’s mood with a single click of the mouse? I showed him the Red Sox website where he can easily see my mood in advance of seeing me (convenient) and I showed him the extensive baseball schedule (“See, Matt? I’ll never be clingy!”).

Then I showed him my wall calendar where I color code the games by broadcast schedule. Then I showed him my Sox paraphernalia. Of which I have a lot. Then I showed him my collection of Sox magazines. Then I showed him my Kevin Youkilis bulletin board. THEN I showed him who Kevin Youkilis is (thanks, GOOGLE).

Then I paused, smiled sweetly, and said, “Go Sox.”

And then the pause got longer.

And the smile got awkward.

And he said-

“I think I can be okay with that.”

But he said it strangely, right?

And then I said-

“Well good.”

And he said “Um.”

He “UM-ed” me.

So there was this other pause, right?

And I told him the PawSox are coming into town in a few weeks, and that I wanted him to come.

He said…

“I don’t know.”

And there was a longer pause.

I said, “This is important… and kind of a big deal… and please.”

And then…

He said…

I swear to GOD he said…

“So, I mean, does this mean you’ll dress up as a guy?”

Um. What?
“Like, will you still like, dress up and stuff?”

Um. What?

“Like, when you go to the game, are you like one of the guys, or do you still look hot?”


That conversation really just happened.

And I wanted to share it.

And, in my defense, this guy is 99.999998 percent perfect. Oh. And he fixed my window. And brought me a koozie. And takes me on the river.

He doesn’t know about the blog, really.

I think we’ve come far enough for today.

If you’re in Raleigh- hit the Bistro on Hurricane starting at noon today- Triangle Red Sox Nation is blood driving it and watching the game- and I’ll be live iPhone blogging it…

So… see you in a few.


Categories: Uncategorized
  1. April 15, 2012 at 11:44 am

    i dare say lauren, this is by far my favorite read so far from your amazing blog!!!! i was actaully in durham a couple of weeks ago, i should have hit you up!!!!!

  2. April 15, 2012 at 11:50 am

    You’re a guy. Is this REALLY the way they think?

    • April 15, 2012 at 1:12 pm

      I’m fairly certain that all guys would like their girlfirends to look hot.

  3. April 15, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Have him see “Fever Pitch”-He’ll understand

  4. April 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    obviously this guy is not a sports fan and he doesnt undertsand that sports are a fans life and we feel very proud and important that we are diehard fans!!!!!

  5. FireDannyAinge
    April 15, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    It’s funny all the female friends I have are the crazy sports fans and the guys are like the casual viewers. It’s crazy.

  6. FireDannyAinge
    April 15, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    What happened to live blogging????????????

  7. April 16, 2012 at 2:03 am

    Yeah, this sounds familiar, but usually the other way around (ya know, with ME being the guys and all..). Good luck with it all, it’s not always easy when the other half just doesn’t understand.
    “Well, in America people f’n hate soccer, and really, that’s the way it should be.”-Kenny Powers

  8. April 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    Someone kind of already said it but i thought the same thing half way through reading this as i laughed my ass off… you are the female version of Jimmy Fallon’s character from fever pitch, like to a tee

  9. Jup
    April 17, 2012 at 7:56 am

    When I first met my boyfriend, I pretty much told him right up front that I was a Sox fanatic and if the relationship were to last, he’d have to be ok with that. He’s not a sports guy, but almost a year in, he’s starting to come up with his own nicknames for players and he’s going to a few games with me. My Sox insanity hasn’t scared him off yet. If your Mr. Perfect is indeed perfect, before you know it, he’ll be calling Dustin Pedroia “Rudy” too.

  10. cybellekate
    April 19, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Do you dress like a guy????????????????????????? Who asks that????????????

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