Home > Uncategorized > Well, there you go. Pedro says keep Tek forever.

Well, there you go. Pedro says keep Tek forever.

When Pedro says something, the gods themselves listen.

True story. Like, this one time, he was like, wow, I wish I had a grilled cheese sandwich. And these birds flocked from the trees and learned how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Like how they made the dress in Cinderella. Except with, you know, toast and cheese and stuff.

That could have happened. You don’t know. You’re not here. North Carolina is a magical place.

Pedro said something amazing today.

“If there are any Red Sox management here, you cannot let ‘Tek go,” Martinez said at a charity dinner in his honor at the Liberty Hotel. “You have to keep him in Boston. He was our head, our captain. He should retire as a member of the Red Sox, and never leave.”


This comes the same day we hear Tek’s been given a pity invite to spring training.

Yeah, well you know what, John Henry? He’s going to go to spring training. He’s going to train like you won’t believe. He’s going to train so well that you’ll beg him to come back to the roster. BEG HIM. Right Tek?

Um… Right Tek?

Um… So… Tek’s been awfully quiet through all of this…

Does that bother anyone else?

The Red Sox fairly have made clear to him that if he did come to camp, he’d serve mostly as “protection” in the event one of their two catchers, Jarrod Saltalamacchia or Kelly Shoppach, is hurt. Ryan Lavarnway is seen as Boston’s catcher of the future but is expected to start the year in Triple-A Pawtucket.

Then again… there’s another option.

The team has offered him an invite to spring training as a non-roster player, and if he elects to retire, the team is interested in having him in their front office.

Add in circulating rumors that he could be Pawtucketting... Really?

And, well, at least you’re in the news today, Tekky.

I’d kind of like to hear exactly what Tek thinks. Because, see, I’m kind of in favor of whatever Tek wants to do. I’m kind of hoping Tek wants to relocate to Boone, North Carolina and be my personal mentor. But, you know, whatever.

I do wish he’d say something.

I love you, Jason Varitek. Like, love-love. And I’d like you to live forever. Thanks. So. Um. Wake up. Stand up for yourself! Be assertive! And make sure that “C” is still attached to your jersey. I bet he sews “C”s to his pajamas. Tek, I bet you have manly pajamas.

My feelings can best be expressed through the following song by Wakey Wakey.

So, whatever YOU decide, Tek. I will support. Because you saved me life once. Or twice. Or. Um. All the time.


  1. January 14, 2012 at 10:11 am

    I agree with Pedro, Tek should never go anywhere other than Boston. I agree, where has Tek been in all of this? He hasn’t said a word!

    • January 14, 2012 at 11:05 am

      it’s ’cause he’s classy. but it’s okay now, jason. you can talk to us. we’re just the internet.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    January 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Hey his bimbo wife has a twitter account. Tek has a few screws lose to marry the first girl after his divorce. I hope he got a prenuptial agreement considering she is a baseball chaser.

    Pedro should be SHHHHHHHH. He gets no opinion since he went for the money and had no loyalty to anyone but his bank account and ego.

    By the way the goal is to win. None of these players have any loyalty to the Red Sox and that includes Mr Scott Boras’s client, Jason Varitek.

    The goal is to win PERIOD. I wish people would remember a 221 hitter is very unlikely to help us win much and yes I know the stats with him behind the plate but it is about time we get a real catcher in here and not a Kelly Shoppach of the world.

    Do you want to win or do you want Tek? If last year taught us anything you should have the same answer I just gave. Not that I expect anyone to agree with me, sigh

  3. Andrew
    January 16, 2012 at 6:45 am

    Dear Lauren,

    Stop being so emotional. Yes, he should be a coach, but no he should not play for us. He is old. OLD. Old enough to be your dad. And please site examples of how he saved your life.

    Enjoy the snow.

  1. January 14, 2012 at 11:22 am

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