Home > Uncategorized > To Darvish or not to Darvish: 3 p.m.’s the answer

To Darvish or not to Darvish: 3 p.m.’s the answer

In trying to distract myself from pending bad Tek news, I see Yu Darvish has until 3 p.m. to figure out who -gets- to shell out the estimated $12 mill for a conversation.

I am hoping it’s us.

Am I hoping it’s us because he’s a bad ass?

Not really.

Mainly because I’m bored and nothing has happened yet in the offseason game…

But I hear he is, actually, a badass.

And we could use a badass. Since YOU’RE SENDING ONE PACKING, CHERINGTON.

I’m okay. I’m okay. I MISS YOU, TEK!!!!

(ENTIRELY appropriate)

This pay-to-talk thing is fabulous. It’s such a great idea, really. Based on the Darvish scale, my fifteen thousand job interviews should have wayyyy pushed me into bazillionaire status. And I’m definitely amazing. Darvish is only possibly amazing. And remember Dice-K. Boy, do we remember Dice-K. Of course, that’s a generalization. Can we really blame the whole nation of Japan for Dice-K? That’s like blaming the entire state of California for John Lackey. Oh wait…

So, Darvish. We’ll know by Tuesday. I doubt the Sox will be players. I mean, we have this pattern lately of sitting around toe wiggling and catcher ousting. At least when we were eating chicken we were contributing to our caloric intake.

Tek, I miss you already…


PS- Wouldn’t the word “Darvish” make a great verb? Think about it.

  1. December 14, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Dear Soxy,

    I know little about him but found out yesterday that pitchers in Japan pitch with smaller balls than pitchers in U.S. That could be a problem, even for a “Whirling Darvish.”

    And don’t forget to wish Billy Buckner Happy Birthday today!

  2. FireDannyAinge
    December 14, 2011 at 7:27 pm


  3. December 14, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Bah. We didn’t want him anyway. With his obnoxiously brilliant pitching. And. Um. His hair.

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