Home > Uncategorized > Hypothetical question- What’s a personal foul?

Hypothetical question- What’s a personal foul?

Okay. So. Let’s say you’re an investigative business writer but you reeeaaalllyyyy want to be a sports writer.

But your sports editor doesn’t think you’ve got sports chops. Because you’re always doing math and crap in your (award winning! award winning! I win awards, people!) stories.

Let’s say you did him a big solid last week getting a scoop on Appalachian State University’s FBS move, got a lot of recognition for said story, so now he says, “you’re ready,” and gives you an assignment (that could lead to getting a sports portfolio, which could lead to a job, which could lead to another job and eventually take you to the Red Sox organization. Dream big, people. Dream big). Let’s say you say yes to said assignment.

Let’s say you get an e-mail and learn you’re covering a basketball game.

So. You Google basketball. Boy, there are a lot of pages. More specific.

You Google basketball, rules. Boy, there are a lot of rules.

And your boyfriend, who knows his basketball shit, is being a jerk and never calls you back. Even though you are reaalllyyyyy pretty.

What do you do?

You ask the internet.

So, internet. If you were writing a basketball story, what would you HAVE to include?

See, this will be my second professional foray into basketball writing. When I first started as a reporter, I had to cover a high school game. I thought I did an excellent job. And then the phone calls came. And we learned I forgot to include the score.

Oops.

But that was six years ago. I’m smarter now. And my hair is a different color. And I’ve watched a LOT of “One Tree Hill.”

I really need a win guys. I really, really do. Because (I’m not going to go into details, internet) this might already be one of the worst weeks I’ve ever had in my 27 years. And do you notice how it’s only Tuesday?

I’m having a really hard time and another clip in my portfolio would really, really cheer me up. Because it gives me hope, people. Hope of an escape. And that’s the goal in everything I do lately, really. So tips?

Basketball. I know there are penalties. And J was explaining to me about the differences between a personal foul and another kind of foul. And I don’t understand. Oh! And I know you get a certain amount of points (they call them points, right?) depending on how far away you are from the basket.

I am now reading coverage of the Heat so that I can both understand basketball and make my family proud with Lebron references.

Yes. I can easily be an expert at this. Right? Right?

So, apparently, I can’t write about just baseball and hockey because the sports world values versatility.

I can be versatile.

I eat versatility for breakfast. No really. Today I had coffee AND ramein noodles. How fricking versatile is that?

Oh god. My phone is beeping again.

Oh god. It’s starting.

I really, really, really, really need a win.

~L

Hey, I write about sediment percentages and became a two-hour expert in that. How hard can basketball be?

And, just so you know, I could totally out baseball you. I could totally out baseball you any day of the fricking week.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. December 13, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    basketball isn’t as difficult as you’re making it out to be. just find a game on youtube and watch it all the way through or youtube basketball videos. if you have questions, i’m more than willing to answer them.

    if you bump or hit someone while they’re shooting or trying to get the ball it’s a “personal foul.” in the NBA you get 6, every other level of basketball you get 5 after that you can’t play anymore. If you say the fudge word at a ref, get in a near fight, or hit a player excessively hard, it’s a technical foul. the other team gets a free throw and the ball. if a player gets two technical fouls he’s ejected, but that rarely happens.

    free throws, free shots after a foul in the act of shooting, are worth 1 point, shots within the 3 pt arc are worth 2, outside that arc are worth 3.

    Lebron is the devil. make sure you say that as many times as possible… the fact i’m from cleveland means i’m absolutely unbiased…

  2. December 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Hopefully, you’ll find basketball more entertaining than sediment percentages. Just check out some of my posts from last year’s NBA Playoffs. (Who do you think the Heat beat writers checked out before they wrote their stuff? Hmmmm?) It’s ok to leave out the score in the first paragraph as you dazzle them with your opening, witty thoughts. It’s not ok to leave the score out after three or four of them. Have a better week, will ya?

  3. December 13, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    i really want to reply and crack some jokes about this whole thing, but i’m too afraid you’ll take something i said literally, put it in your article, look like an idiot, and then i’d feel terrible haha

  4. FireDannyAinge
    December 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    A personal foul is an easy one. It’s whatever the corrupt NBA officials feel like calling that night. It’s rarely ever about the actual foul just who the star is vs the poor little no name that got whacked by the star even though they called the foul against the nobody.

    BOYCOTT THE NBA

    • December 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

      ^^^ what he said

  5. December 16, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    To cover basketball, there is really no point in watching until the final two minutes. In fact, they should do us all a favor and give both teams 100 points and only play two minutes. Actually, I was hoping the NBA would never come back. I detest basketball. I was one of the only people in the Dallas area that didn’t care that the Mavericks won the championship. Baseball is king. You’re being punished by being forced to cover basketball. You must have done something really naughty.

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