Hypothetical question- What’s a personal foul?
Okay. So. Let’s say you’re an investigative business writer but you reeeaaalllyyyy want to be a sports writer.
But your sports editor doesn’t think you’ve got sports chops. Because you’re always doing math and crap in your (award winning! award winning! I win awards, people!) stories.
Let’s say you did him a big solid last week getting a scoop on Appalachian State University’s FBS move, got a lot of recognition for said story, so now he says, “you’re ready,” and gives you an assignment (that could lead to getting a sports portfolio, which could lead to a job, which could lead to another job and eventually take you to the Red Sox organization. Dream big, people. Dream big). Let’s say you say yes to said assignment.
Let’s say you get an e-mail and learn you’re covering a basketball game.
So. You Google basketball. Boy, there are a lot of pages. More specific.
You Google basketball, rules. Boy, there are a lot of rules.
And your boyfriend, who knows his basketball shit, is being a jerk and never calls you back. Even though you are reaalllyyyyy pretty.
What do you do?
You ask the internet.
So, internet. If you were writing a basketball story, what would you HAVE to include?
See, this will be my second professional foray into basketball writing. When I first started as a reporter, I had to cover a high school game. I thought I did an excellent job. And then the phone calls came. And we learned I forgot to include the score.
But that was six years ago. I’m smarter now. And my hair is a different color. And I’ve watched a LOT of “One Tree Hill.”
I really need a win guys. I really, really do. Because (I’m not going to go into details, internet) this might already be one of the worst weeks I’ve ever had in my 27 years. And do you notice how it’s only Tuesday?
I’m having a really hard time and another clip in my portfolio would really, really cheer me up. Because it gives me hope, people. Hope of an escape. And that’s the goal in everything I do lately, really. So tips?
Basketball. I know there are penalties. And J was explaining to me about the differences between a personal foul and another kind of foul. And I don’t understand. Oh! And I know you get a certain amount of points (they call them points, right?) depending on how far away you are from the basket.
I am now reading coverage of the Heat so that I can both understand basketball and make my family proud with Lebron references.
Yes. I can easily be an expert at this. Right? Right?
So, apparently, I can’t write about just baseball and hockey because the sports world values versatility.
I can be versatile.
I eat versatility for breakfast. No really. Today I had coffee AND ramein noodles. How fricking versatile is that?
Oh god. My phone is beeping again.
Oh god. It’s starting.
I really, really, really, really need a win.
Hey, I write about sediment percentages and became a two-hour expert in that. How hard can basketball be?
And, just so you know, I could totally out baseball you. I could totally out baseball you any day of the fricking week.