A terrible Thanksgiving. And still no manager. It’s that quiet part of the movie before the plane crashes.
Happy Black Friday!
So. That was a terrible Thanksgiving.
Not only are the Sox managerless and Ortizless (which are the real problems), but the boyfriend got the plague and couldn’t drive up the mountain. And I, the crazy girlfriend that you all knew I had the potential to be (you read my rants. He does too. None of us should be surprised) well, went crazy. And drove a lot. Oh, and ate a romantic lunch by myself today with a side of gallons and gallons of cranberry sauce. There was sashimi tuna. And asparagus. Oh. And then I drank my boyfriend’s favorite beer. Because I’m the crazy person who irrationally blames my boyfriend for being sick. And apologizes by sending text after text after text. That he doesn’t respond to. So. Um. That’s not a good sign. Oh. And the cat escaped. And then spread a mouse (yes, that’s the intended phrase) all over my living room. Did I mention it’s the boyfriend’s cat? The boyfriend I basically verbally went psycho on yesterday for… oh… absolutely no reason? Yeah. He finally texted me (just now) that he’s feeling better. Maybe, in his fevered delirium, he’ll forget that I went ranty. And maybe mouse blood will come off the wall if I spray it with club soda.
And how was your day?
Gene Lamont? Valentine? PICK ALREADY
Manager search, aka drawing names out of a mediocrity hat, continues. So much fricking INDECISION.
The Cubs and Red Sox interviewed many of the same men for their positions and some wags joked that the Cubs should simply hire two of them and give one to Boston for the compensation still owed for Chicago’s hiring of Theo Epstein.
And, apparently, the Sox like old people. It shouldn’t surprise us, really, when we look, really look at the roster. My favorite, Lovullo, can’t get a second interview. But Gene Lamont can get one.
Who is Gene Lamont? Why, he managed the White Sox and the Pirates, wikipedia says. Doesn’t ring a bell? Maybe that’s because you, like me, had just started HIGH SCHOOL the last time he carried the management clipboard in a big way. Oh. Wait. Wikipedia says he’s the Detroit third base coach. Unless he’s the Detroit pitching coach, I don’t care. I want Verlander magic. Not you, Gene Lamont.
But whatever. Pick already. And then we can criticize you adequately, Red Sox.
If only we could get John Farrell.
OH WAIT. WE COULD HAVE.
Apparently, the Blue Jays offered Farrell up on a silver platter. All we had to do was give them Clay Buchholz.
Before you jump down my throat and are all.. we loooooveeee clay-
Keep in mind that Clay is ONE pitcher. One that looooovveeeesssss being injured.
Yeah, so we only have three pitchers. But it’s a lot like debt.
Let me explain with an example from my personal life. I know how you LOVE hearing about my personal life. So. Currently. I am about (only) $15,000 in debt. Which is really great, considering. I am going to try to go to graduate school. So, let’s add like $30,000 to that. I’d be… oh… $40,000 in debt next year. Sounds staggering, right? But it really doesn’t matter whether it’s $250 in debt or $2.5 million. When you don’t have it, you don’t have it. And, until they legalize debtors prison, it’s unlikely I’m going to get out of debt any time soon. So bring on the debt! Might as well go allllll in. Because at least, with a master’s degree… I have a CHANCE. Without it, I’m on Craigslist every day trying to convince strangers that a reporter could work in pharmaceutical sales.
With John Farrell, we have a CHANCE. We can get more pitchers. We have to get more pitchers anyway. CLEARLY, we suck at getting managers. I say MAKE THE SWAP.
But no one listens to me. Um. Except for you.
He was an All-Star.
So that’s good. Plays for Oakland.
Maybe having another Gonzalez on the team will have our current Gonzalez, aka: He-who-walk-jogs-to-first, stepping it up?
I’m not seeing Papelbon 2.0, but whatever. Do SOMETHING, Red Sox.
WHY is there no new Papi news? Because this is no one’s first priority but mine. As I reported yesterday- salary arbitration has been offered. And now we’re into that inevitable waiting game…
So. How was your holiday?
I’m going out with my friend Andy tonight. We are going to drink things in glasses with swizzle sticks and sing karaoke until J calls me back. One usually gets multiple strikes in a relationship, right? Not just three like in baseball?