Home > Uncategorized > A terrible Thanksgiving. And still no manager. It’s that quiet part of the movie before the plane crashes.

A terrible Thanksgiving. And still no manager. It’s that quiet part of the movie before the plane crashes.

Happy Black Friday!

So. That was a terrible Thanksgiving.

Not only are the Sox managerless and Ortizless (which are the real problems), but the boyfriend got the plague and couldn’t drive up the mountain. And I, the crazy girlfriend that you all knew I had the potential to be (you read my rants. He does too. None of us should be surprised) well, went crazy. And drove a lot. Oh, and ate a romantic lunch by myself today with a side of gallons and gallons of cranberry sauce. There was sashimi tuna. And asparagus. Oh. And then I drank my boyfriend’s favorite beer. Because I’m the crazy person who irrationally blames my boyfriend for being sick. And apologizes by sending text after text after text. That he doesn’t respond to. So. Um. That’s not a good sign. Oh. And the cat escaped. And then spread a mouse (yes, that’s the intended phrase) all over my living room. Did I mention it’s the boyfriend’s cat? The boyfriend I basically verbally went psycho on yesterday for… oh… absolutely no reason? Yeah. He finally texted me (just now) that he’s feeling better. Maybe, in his fevered delirium, he’ll forget that I went ranty. And maybe mouse blood will come off the wall if I spray it with club soda.

And how was your day?

Gene Lamont? Valentine? PICK ALREADY

Manager search, aka drawing names out of a mediocrity hat, continues. So much fricking INDECISION.

The Cubs and Red Sox interviewed many of the same men for their positions and some wags joked that the Cubs should simply hire two of them and give one to Boston for the compensation still owed for Chicago’s hiring of Theo Epstein.

And, apparently, the Sox like old people. It shouldn’t surprise us, really, when we look, really look at the roster. My favorite, Lovullo, can’t get a second interview. But Gene Lamont can get one.

Who is Gene Lamont? Why, he managed the White Sox and the Pirates, wikipedia says. Doesn’t ring a bell? Maybe that’s because you, like me, had just started HIGH SCHOOL the last time he carried the management clipboard in a big way. Oh. Wait. Wikipedia says he’s the Detroit third base coach. Unless he’s the Detroit pitching coach, I don’t care. I want Verlander magic. Not you, Gene Lamont.

But whatever. Pick already. And then we can criticize you adequately, Red Sox.

If only we could get John Farrell.


Apparently, the Blue Jays offered Farrell up on a silver platter. All we had to do was give them Clay Buchholz.

Before you jump down my throat and are all.. we loooooveeee clay-

Keep in mind that Clay is ONE pitcher. One that looooovveeeesssss being injured.

Yeah, so we only have three pitchers. But it’s a lot like debt.

Let me explain with an example from my personal life. I know how you LOVE hearing about my personal life. So. Currently. I am about (only) $15,000 in debt. Which is really great, considering. I am going to try to go to graduate school. So, let’s add like $30,000 to that. I’d be… oh… $40,000 in debt next year. Sounds staggering, right? But it really doesn’t matter whether it’s $250 in debt or $2.5 million. When you don’t have it, you don’t have it. And, until they legalize debtors prison, it’s unlikely I’m going to get out of debt any time soon. So bring on the debt! Might as well go allllll in. Because at least, with a master’s degree… I have a CHANCE. Without it, I’m on Craigslist every day trying to convince strangers that a reporter could work in pharmaceutical sales.

With John Farrell, we have a CHANCE. We can get more pitchers. We have to get more pitchers anyway. CLEARLY, we suck at getting managers. I say MAKE THE SWAP.

But no one listens to me. Um. Except for you.

Gio Gonzalez

We’re excited, apparently, about Gio Gonzalez. Don’t know who he is? Well, he’s younger than Gene Lamont. Oh! He’s from Florida. The BEST people have roots in Florida, I hear.

Gonzalez throws a fastball that ranges from 92-95 mph, a two-seam fastball, a changeup, and a good 10 to 4 curveball.

Thanks, Wikipedia!

He was an All-Star.

So that’s good. Plays for Oakland.

Maybe having another Gonzalez on the team will have our current Gonzalez, aka: He-who-walk-jogs-to-first, stepping it up?

I’m not seeing Papelbon 2.0, but whatever. Do SOMETHING, Red Sox.

David Ortiz

WHY is there no new Papi news? Because this is no one’s first priority but mine. As I reported yesterday- salary arbitration has been offered. And now we’re into that inevitable waiting game…


So. How was your holiday?

I’m going out with my friend Andy tonight. We are going to drink things in glasses with swizzle sticks and sing karaoke until J calls me back. One usually gets multiple strikes in a relationship, right? Not just three like in baseball?


Categories: Uncategorized
  1. FireDannyAinge
    November 26, 2011 at 12:43 am

    You rant? I must have missed those blogs:) I read the info about Clay and wrote a blog too. I couldn’t help but write one.

    My Holiday sucked too. Don’t feel bad. Are you sure the boyfriend doesn’t have a wife and three kids? If he tried that “I am sick” thing again he has a wife and kids. and a dog.

    • November 26, 2011 at 12:45 am

      he was pretty funny on the phone tonight. he basically said that i shouldn’t worry, and that he’s known that i’m crazy, and still likes me. i felt really great. and then i hung up the phone and thought about that for a few minutes…
      yeah- i just read your blog.
      i don’t care. i think it’s brilliant. clay for farrell. let’s do it. let’s do it NOW. problem solved. SOLVED.

      • FireDannyAinge
        November 26, 2011 at 1:03 pm

        It solves the manager. Doesn’t solve our pitching woes. sigh

        Maybe they will take Lackey instead????

      • November 26, 2011 at 3:02 pm

        we have pitcher woes regardless. at least it would be ONE problem solved…

  2. November 26, 2011 at 5:00 am

    Great Article 🙂

  3. November 26, 2011 at 6:56 am

    I hadn’t heard the Sox where after GG, I like it!

  4. November 26, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I can tell you one thing the redsoxs think they know who is going to be it but they better hurry.

  5. November 27, 2011 at 4:23 am

    Hey thanks for checking out my blog! I’m not a huge baseball fan but I lived in Boston for 7 years and am a big fan of the town 🙂
    Sorry to hear you had a crappy T-day too. Hope all is well!

  6. Sal
    November 27, 2011 at 5:57 am

    hey there Soxy not to worry your sox will have Valentine in place very soon, then he’ll put together a staff and you’ll be off and running filling your squad with low risk high reward types. Speaking of which your boyfriend sounds like a low reward high risk, dump him. lol

    Just remember it’s been a while since Bobby V had to endure 162 plus so while this move sounds good to the media, and on paper Bobby has some catching up to do.

    On Gio he’s under team control with only 2.162 years of ML service, Beane will want a boatload of talent for him, he’s a 5 WAR and an above K/9 average pitcher, every tem wants him but do you have the chips to get him and do you want to empty an already thin farm system? NY could offer up a better package and they’ve backed off due to the price tag.

    Thanks for dropping by my site, I’m serving left over desserts this week stop by..

  7. November 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

    I think the Red Sox and Ortiz will get together on a contract agreement soon. The only other real option I see is if the Red Sox pony up some serious cash to sign Prince Fielder to be their DH (yes, they actually do have the money to do such a thing, believe it or not!) But Ortiz is a far more cost-effective option, and we know he’s still good for 30HR, 100RBI year in and year out.

    I agree that Gene Lamont is not really the best option. It’s been a long time since he managed. Bobby Valentine managed not that long ago for a very, very good team in the Japanese league. He may have to catch up a bit (remember he called David Ortiz, Jose, countless times on an ESPN broadcast, but that’s because Jose Ortiz is a borderline star player in Japan.) Valentine at least has a proven track record. I’m just concerned he’ll rub a few of the key players the wrong way, but maybe that’s what the Sox need, somebody who will shake up the clubhouse.

    I think Lovullo would be much more of a player’s manager like Francona was. That’s why I think the Red Sox didn’t go with him; it’s not that they don’t think he could handle the job. Valentine is no doubt the big guy in the room as a manager. It will be interesting to see how it works out.

    As for Buchholz for Farrell, while I think Farrell is a very capable manager who would easily work with the Red Sox, Clay’s upside is too high to give him away for a manager. Maybe he never becomes more than a #3 starter, but that’s more valuable than a manager, no matter how you slice it. Gio Gonzalez, while I like him, walks too many guys and his ERA is only that good because he’s pitched in Oakland. I think he’d get destroyed at Fenway. But if they get him for anyone but Will Middlebrooks or Ryan Lavarnway, he’s worth a shot. He’s cheap, and he can eat innings as a #4 starter.

    Sorry to hear you had a crumby holiday. Here’s hoping that Christmas is much better, and that the Red Sox can sign a few guys and make a few trades to prevent a repeat of 2011’s meltdown.

  8. November 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

    I had the Plague once. Got it at Wrigley Field. I’m sure. Hope they make a decision for you soon (Bobby V, Papi, Gio, etc)… I think you’d like Gio… until he turns into John Lackey, of course.

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