I am thankful for soup- and other holiday truths in honor of Thanksgiving!
Because I am nothing if not spirited. Even if, despite the holiday, I get to work the kind of hours tomorrow that would kill your average Target employee…
25 things I am thankful for:
1. Having a job. I’m very, very unhappy right now. But, I bet, if I were jobless, I’d have less food. And I sure do like food. Especially soup. I am thankful for soup. I shall have butternut squash today. With- cheese!
2. Tide detergent. Because without Tide detergent, my Youk jersey would be kaput. And coupons! Because without coupons, my Tide detergent would be Lowes Foods brand. And Lowes Foods! Because without Lowes Foods, I would be squashless. And therefore soupless. All things come back to my love of soup, really. Did you know you can make beer soup? Look it up. It’s cheesy.
3. Jacoby Ellsbury. Because without Jacoby Ellsbury, I wouldn’t have had hope. And without hope, I probably would have just stayed in bed all day. And if I had stayed in bed all day, I probably wouldn’t have my job. And then I wouldn’t be able to buy soup. Tomorrow, I shall have Tom Yum!
4. My friends. I really do have the best friends. And, thanks to my job pinballing, I have friends in lots of cities. I have best friends. Like eight of them. And they’re not only supportive, they are hilarious. My boyfriend falls under this category. Because he’s kind of great. I guess I’m glad he came back from the dead. It’s all long distancy and occasionally awkward due to my intense fits of commitophobia and sox anxiety, but my boyfriend could still review a movie better than your boyfriend. And usually, he’s not around to see my commitophobic tantrums. So, there’s that. And tomorrow, after a long-long-long day of horrible work (have to work for the soup, see), I’ll get to see him, because he’s driving three hours up a mountain to make my day better. Maybe I will share my soup. There’s only so much soup, you know. I mean… I guess I could make more…
5. Inspiration. I am thankful for inspiration. Because, as icky as the bureaucracy of my job is lately, occasionally, VERY occasionally, inspiration exists. Like this week at the area homeless shelter- where I interviewed some truly incredible people. Or last week, interviewing World War II vets. When I’m interviewing inspirational people that don’t suck, sometimes I forget I’m wading through a swamp of steaming, stewing bullpoo 99 percent of the time. And for what? Rent money and soup. And the occasional ice cream. You know. At least with it being off-season… my alcohol-ice cream budget has decreased. Did you know you can add alcohol to ice cream? Really. See? I’m thankful for that. Does gelatin really contain bones? Because I’ve eaten gelatin.
6. Terry Francona. I am thankful for you, Terry. Even if John Henry is too busy doing buoy doughnuts with his yacht, I am thankful for you. And, since I’m so thankful for you… COME BACK!!!! COME BACK NOW!!!!! I’ll never call you Tito the Dorito again! Never! I’ll share my soup! We’ll make more soup! Better soup! Stronger soup! Hotter soup! Together!!!!!
7. Musicals. I LOVE musicals.
8. My puppy. Elliot-May-Precious Ortiz. And my two step-kitties. The ones I am watching for the boyfriend (since SEPTEMBER, btw) until he gets a new apartment. Their names are Randall and Dante but (we don’t have to tell J this) I have renamed them Timon and Pumba because of their insatiable sass and appetites. I am NOT thankful that my town house is carpeted. Or that, apparently, there WERE mice.
9. The internet. And that means YOU, soxies. I’m thankful for YOU. Because you appreciate what some call my “eccentricities.” You recognize them as complimentary aspects of my sparkling personality and not… what was it my coworker said last week? “What happens when a cheerleader fuses personalities with a squirrel on crack.” I have NEVER tried crack. I’m thankful for my eery goody-two-shoes-ness. Because, as an overworked reporter, were I not so perfect, who knows what I would have tried? Good thing my only drugs are caffeine, alcohol, a sense of entitlement and the internet!
10. The Ocean. I don’t care which one. As long as it’s salty and there’s sand and room for my towel. Beach, I am thankful for you. And orca whales. I LOVE orca whales. They’re not actually whales, you know. They are porpoises.
11. Vancouver. My favorite city ever. I am thankful for you. I’m sorry that your hockey fans are arsonist losers and that Maxim Lapierre taints your city with his pre-maximized-heart Grinchiness.
12. The Red Sox. Because you’re not all chicken and beer and video games. But I’m not thankful that, because of stupid “unnamed sources” that’s what the world thinks. I’m NOT thankful for you, stupid “unnamed sources.” I’m thankful for Tommy John surgery. Is that mean? It’s honest. And I’m thankful for earlier steroid testing (Bud Selig, you were SO not on this list last year). And I’m thankful Curt Young is gone. And I’m thankful for Kevin Youkilis’ existence. I’m NOT thankful that you have a yacht and I don’t, John Henry. I doubt you’re very thankful at all, John Henry. You’re probably on your yacht right now. You probably don’t even know it’s Thanksgiving because Theo was probably the guy who reminded you of major holidays and headphone bills. You’re probably on your yacht. Sitting in front of the fire place (yachts can have fire places, right?)… eating soup. Expensive soup. From an expensive can or something. I bet your can opener is electric. Show off. There are people in this world who have to relay on the pull cap cans, John Henry. Think about that. And those sausage cans with the keys. You know? Where you twist the key and aluminum wraps around it and the can opens and the meat is gross? Stop talking about this, JH. You know I’m a vegetarian.
13. I am thankful for my family and their hilarity when watching Red Sox/Dolphins games. I’m not that bad. Right? Right?
14. I am thankful for the beach. I wish I were at the beach. Did I say that already? It’s really cold outside, folks. Soup weather.
15. I am thankful for grilled cheese sandwiches. The kind with the white fancy cheese and thin tomatoes. Caprese sandwiches. From Which Wich.
16. Tim Thomas. I like you as much as I like grilled cheese sandwiches. And that is a LOT.
17. The Stanley Cup. Yay.
18. My friends Adrienne and Joe who got me addicted to Bruins hockey three years ago at Beantown Tavern in Charlotte, proving that, after the Red Sox game ends, there are PLENTY of reasons to stay at the bar and drink.
19. Oriental food. I am addicted to Thai. And I eat Chinese food every day at work. If it did not exist, I would starve. To. Death. And then the North Carolina High Country would be without its favorite reporter. And you would be without your favorite blogger. And Kevin Youkilis would be without his number one fan. And the world would mourn. And there would probably be a tv special about it or something.
20. Oh! Oh! Oh! And I’m thankful that we’re not in the middle of a biological warfare plague or something. Because I have a most sincere fear about that. Because I had to cover this disaster response thing and… yeah.
21. Simon and Garfunkel.
22. Pushing Daisies. Greatest show ever. I don’t care if it is not on the air anymore. It is on the air of my heart. And pie. I love pie. Baking it, more so than eating it, because it’s soooooooooooo pretty when it comes out of the oven all fluffy and brown.
23. The color pink.
24. Figure skating.
25. NPR. Wait, wait… don’t tell me! Car Talk! Prairie Home Companion! Diane Rehm! Sandwich Mondays!
There’s not enough room in the 25 for me to mention my intense gratitude for dry erase boards. Oh! And rain smell. And the bandaids with the antibiotic ointment already in the gauze.
Oh! And I am SOOOOOO thankful for our TWITTER FRIENDSHIP. We have one, right? No? Click here! Quick!
What are you thankful for, Soxies?
PS- I am thankful for THIS VIEW: