Of course Jacoby was robbed. And…?
The internet seems SURPRISED that Jacoby Ellsbury didn’t win MVP.
Really internet? Really? Don’t you get that NOTHING IS WORKING FOR US RIGHT NOW? Nothing!
I mean, you could say I was SURPRISED at September Soxsplosion.
That was surprising, right?
Oh! And when Terry Francona left. That was surprising.
When Theo left… that was… um… startling.
Oh! And Curt Young left.
That was… um…
And the other people… they were…
And Jonathan Papel—
Nothing surprises me about Soxpocalypse, 2011.
My surprise nerve? It’s dead.
Kind of like my optimistic-about-Ben-Cherington-nerve.
My thoughts on Valentine?
Indifference. You and I, Ben Cherington, we apparently have the same level of influence. I wanted Lovullo. You were like, whatever. You wanted Sveum. They were like whatever.
I’m looking for new jobs. See, this is important, Ben Cherington. Because it has to be the right job. Remember that time you took a job and then your bosses nixed your ideas in your first month? And it was kind of humiliating and made us all agree with Shaughnessy about something? I don’t want that to happen to me. New jobs in Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill. I am this specific in case you know something, internet friends. In case you know ANYTHING. firstname.lastname@example.org.
You know what else is important? PAYING YOUR HOUSEKEEPERS, Manny Ramirez. Manny Ramirez news is always fun.
Yeah. So. Mondays suck.