The case for keeping Reddick forever. And ever. And… um… ever.
While SOME Soxies are tied in an I-Max Theatre, being forced to watch the season’s failure while strapped on gurneys (right, Ben Cherington? Right?), others, those of the not-complete-failure variety (so, Jacoby and Reddick and Youkie), are doing productive things right now. Like… Josh Reddick. Josh Reddick is playing baseball- and playing it well. Proving that the intense September suckage (or Soxsplosion) didn’t come from his spindly hands.
As with all things awesome, there are front office rumblings of breaking our hearts and throwing our new savior (could have been. maybe. almost) to the wolves. Or, you know, trading him. Or letting him battle royale with Kalish.
Dear Ben Cherington,
Please do not trade Josh Reddick. I know what I’m talking about, see.
I know we don’t know each other very well yet, Benny. But remember all those nice things I wrote about you after you Tommy Johned John Lackey? Remember that? And how I haven’t made fun of your squishy forehead, not once? You OWE me.
Plus, I really know what I’m talking about. Case in point- last time I was THIS enthusiastic about you people NOT trading someone was that time you got rid of Justin Masterson. Remember that, Ben Cherington? And how he actually grew up to kick ass? And we grew up to NOT HAVE PITCHERS?
This is kind of like that. Except I can back it up with facts, Ben. FACTS. Remember that time Coco Crisp was crispless? I do. The nation (a nation in LOVE with Coco, well, his name at least) was forced to turn to a spry kid from the streets. Okay, from Pawtuckett. But that’s like the streets in baseball world. Actually, I think he’s from Oregon. Anyway, we got this kid, Jacoby Ellsbury. And whoosh. Right off the bat. Steal. America gets free tacos. Oh. And we won the fricking World Series.
It is EXACTLY like that. Except without tacos. And the World Series. Keep. Up.
Plus, my mother is in love with Josh Reddick. And you do not want to piss my mother off. She’s like me, except sweeter and more passive aggressive with her villainy.
Okay. So he’s not perfect. When the pitchers figured him out- he wasn’t so great at adapting. That’s because he’s a rookie, see. Keep him in the organization and he’s going to grow up (or Jacoby, which is my new verb for growing up to kick ass. I sure hope it catches on) to be a sox-studded star.
In conclusion, Josh Reddick should stay. David Ortiz should stay. In fact, maybe you should just e-mail me before making any important decisions. You know. Just for awhile. Until we build up trust.
Thanks, Ben. I knew you’d see things my way.