If -I- had a yacht, I’d take care of it…
Yet more reasons why I would make a better rich person than current rich people…
I also wouldn’t can Terry Francona.
Makings of a new curse? First it’s the yacht. Then it’s the Bentley. Then, before you know it, that seventh home in Chelsea strikes a spark. What will we do, Lovey?
(Could you read that in a Thurston Howell voice? Thanks)
I’m still not ready to talk about the “epic collapse,” also known as “Boston Hiroshima,” “Papelbomb,” and “Soxpocalypse.” But I’m getting there. Every day. Breathing. Every day. Living. Every day.
That’s what it’s about, see.
And all those condolence messages you have been leaving on email@example.com sure are appreciated.
Especially the one where that Tampa fan recorded his voice laughing over and over and over again. Thanks, BJUpYours69. Thinking about you fumbling with the voice recorder on your PC really gave my inner-Mac girl cause to giggle. And, I wouldn’t worry about that laugh. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal and doesn’t indicate early signs of emphysema or impending lung failure or jackassishness or anything. I hope that, since you’ve asserted yourself (those self-help tapes you ordered on QVC at midnight when it was just you and your cats DO work! Take that, mom and her waste-of-money-talk!), you’ve now found the inner confidence you always lacked in high school. Your mom was right. It probably was those cave zits on your forehead and not your bad music taste, lack of hygiene, personality and general ten second comprehension delay that kept you out of student government. Good thing that Proactiv came out before your ten-year! I’m sure no one remembers those fliers now, all these years later. I’m sure you’ll pull yourself up by your foodsafe sneakers and get out of mom’s basement in no time! In the meantime, you enjoy the complimentary laundry and wrapped twinkies she sets at the top of the stairs each morning. Thanks again for that recording. It sure made me feel special. You know a thing or two about the word “special,” don’t you, BJUpYours69?
So, those e-mails are appreciated. But I’m going to be fine. Really. And I have SO much to say about Soxsplosion 2011. But I need to be able to type the words “Terry” and “Francona” together without sobbing first.