Home > Scary Red Sox Rants > If -I- had a yacht, I’d take care of it…

If -I- had a yacht, I’d take care of it…

Yet more reasons why I would make a better rich person than current rich people…

I also wouldn’t can Terry Francona.

Makings of a new curse? First it’s the yacht. Then it’s the Bentley. Then, before you know it, that seventh home in Chelsea strikes a spark. What will we do, Lovey?

(Could you read that in a Thurston Howell voice? Thanks)

I’m still not ready to talk about the “epic collapse,” also known as “Boston Hiroshima,” “Papelbomb,” and “Soxpocalypse.” But I’m getting there. Every day. Breathing. Every day. Living. Every day.

That’s what it’s about, see.

And all those condolence messages you have been leaving on ohnolauren@gmail.com sure are appreciated.

Especially the one where that Tampa fan recorded his voice laughing over and over and over again. Thanks, BJUpYours69. Thinking about you fumbling with the voice recorder on your PC really gave my inner-Mac girl cause to giggle. And, I wouldn’t worry about that laugh. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal and doesn’t indicate early signs of emphysema or impending lung failure or jackassishness or anything. I hope that, since you’ve asserted yourself (those self-help tapes you ordered on QVC at midnight when it was just you and your cats DO work! Take that, mom and her waste-of-money-talk!), you’ve now found the inner confidence you always lacked in high school. Your mom was right. It probably was those cave zits on your forehead and not your bad music taste, lack of hygiene, personality and general ten second comprehension delay that kept you out of student government. Good thing that Proactiv came out before your ten-year!  I’m sure no one remembers those fliers now, all these years later. I’m sure you’ll pull yourself up by your foodsafe sneakers and get out of mom’s basement in no time! In the meantime, you enjoy the complimentary laundry and wrapped twinkies she sets at the top of the stairs each morning. Thanks again for that recording. It sure made me feel special. You know a thing or two about the word “special,” don’t you, BJUpYours69?

So, those e-mails are appreciated. But I’m going to be fine. Really. And I have SO much to say about Soxsplosion 2011. But I need to be able to type the words “Terry” and “Francona” together without sobbing first.

K. Thanks.


Categories: Scary Red Sox Rants
  1. FireDannyAinge
    October 1, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    You are not going to like this toosoxy but the radio last night was speculating that one of the players that wouldn’t listen to Francona was Youkilis.

  2. October 1, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Stop lying, FDA!!!! I thought we were past this, you and I! Kevin Youkilis is PERFECT. PERFECT. I mean… you know… except for that hip thing…

    • FireDannyAinge
      October 1, 2011 at 8:08 pm

      That was the radio people, not me.lol

  3. October 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    These last two weeks, when everyone was talking about the Sox getting rid of Francona if they didn’t make the playoffs, I really didn’t give it any credence. I mean, that’s the kind of thing people always talk about when a team runs into trouble and getting rid of Francona would be absolutely stupid…and everyone knew that, right…right?!
    Bad Red Sox front office. No bobblehead.
    — Kristen

  4. FireDannyAinge
    October 1, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    James Shields, You suck:)

  5. Schmitty
    October 2, 2011 at 11:28 am

    I can’t, for the life of me, understand why Fancona got chopped. Did he make the $50 million Daisuke Matsuzaka mistake? Nope, Theo Epstein. Did he make the John Lackey mistake? Nope, Theo Epstein. Did he make the mistake to sign CC to an over inflated $142 million contract? Again, nope, Theo Epstein. Epstein has made many a good decision in his years of being the Sox GM. However, this year should be firmly placed on his shoulders. Boston wanted heads to roll, and unfortunately they placed the blame on the guy who could do nothing more than work with Epsteins mistakes.

    With the media scrutiny in Boston, I can totally understand why Francona was OK with things.

  6. October 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Schmitty, I have this fear Epstein will be the next casualty.

  7. October 2, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    I don’t care what anyone else says, I think the wrong person is leaving Boston. They need several players gone. Whoever was responsible for the unrest in the clubhouse that caused this year’s collapse…we may never know who it was. I feel almost certain that John Lackey was the center of it, but I’m not sure. I also feel pretty sure that it really had nothing to do with baseball. And that is tragic.

  8. October 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Having the experience of following Terry in Philadelphia, I continue to believe he was hoping not to be brought back and actually had no problem giving management that “idea.” If just 10% of all the nonsense being reported is true I can’t see why he would feel comfortable there. If he’s “the same guy” he was here, he was headed out the door but wanted to get the hook rather than “quit.” It sounds like Terry to not want to quit…but also made sure everyone knew he felt uncomfortable with this team – or at least several players on the team. I suspect Epstein will now depart as well.

  9. FireDannyAinge
    October 3, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    Francona’s job is to take care of things in the club house. How is he not partly responsible for what went on in the club house? TWO YEARS this alleged drinking by players not pitching had been going on.

    I don’t think Francona should have been let go but to act like this is not partially his fault isn’t fair.

  10. October 3, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    all are punish-ed. like in romeo and juliet. except much, much more tragic. i’m almost ready to write about this. really i am. i started to today. i just…. couldn’t… so… much… anger…

    • FireDannyAinge
      October 3, 2011 at 9:23 pm

      Cowboy Up Lauren. I want to hear your opinion on the Youkilis article I found. It’s at my blog.

      Go Rangers!!!!!!!!

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