Home > Drunken Live Blogging > Last stand. Live blogging the stages of grief so you don’t have to live through them. Sox vs O’s, the game that counts.

Last stand. Live blogging the stages of grief so you don’t have to live through them. Sox vs O’s, the game that counts.

Last stand is a loose military term used to describe a body of troops holding a defensive position in the face of overwhelming odds. The defensive force usually takes very heavy casualties or is completely destroyed, as happened in “Custer’s Last Stand” at the Battle of Little Big Horn.[1]

That is from WIKIPEDIA.

“We’re either going to be good enough or we’re not…We can write this ending however we choose. We can be the team that got beat up, came back, put it together and went on this great run, or we can allow this to defeat us. Hopefully, we have enough to have it be the first. That’s obviously how we feel.”

That is from Terry Francona.

Okay. I mean, I’ve heard better peptalks, Tito.



Oh, and this one:

But yours is fine too. Um.

So… less than two hours to go. AL Wildcard waiting.

I feel like a vodka tonic. Do you feel like a vodka tonic?

Please blog with me tonight, starting 7ish. None of us should be alone, Soxies. Not tonight. Not tonight.


I.. I…

I can’t talk about this.



6:20. ESPN says lots of things, FDA. BUT SO DO WE. <- did that look confident?

Andrew. Please don’t die or, um, something. New York can be a scary place in that Youk jersey…


Hi, Kristen. You can cheer for the Red Sox if you want… I saw someone in an Angels shirt today and thought of you. Because it’s a rare sight in North Carolina.


Ready. For. Battle.

6:50 p.m. On my way to the bar. Condiments, be afraid. Be VERY afraid.



This game is maddening.

First. I call bar.

Bar says, we have internet AND Sox game.

See, I have work to do. Not just the blog. WORK.

Go to bar. It is on the fricking Braves game.

Jeb makes fun of me because of my teenage angstiness.

THREE people make fun of my Youk jersey.

It takes them NINETEEN minutes to turn the Sox game on.

There is NO internet.


It is 10:01. I just got home. Because rain delays are not worth my time or money at bars.

FDA! You would have me date a Pirates fan?!

And I am not available.

I’ve been practicing that.

Funny story.


You should not read news this week, FDA. You should not read news.

So. Now we’re just waiting on a rain delay…

If Ellie had her way, we'd just sleep. She doesn't understand how important this game is, see...

I keep reading this over and over, hoping, praying that they’re LYING.

Well… the Stanks are winning…

I REALLY can’t handle a game tomorrow. I need sleep. I need to go watch my old theatre director in “High Country Dancing With the Stars” (watching Gary do the mambo is kind of a goal of mine). Oh. AND I NEED SLEEP.

WHAT? WHAT are they doing, FDA?

The Yankees are not loading on my computer, sneaky devils.

Jeb and I met this Stanks fan at the bar. We talked because he is from Florida. Oh, and he was old and gimpy and endearing. Right. And he said he rooted for the Red Sox in 04 but that it was hard for him to root for them any other time. And I said that, since I was rooting for his team tonight, he should take the peace feather and climb aboard the Sox bandwagon.

He said okay.

It’s ’cause I’m pretty.


YES. YOU CARE. Do not give up on me, FDA. DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME.

7-6???? Really????? How does that even happen????????

Did they really accomplish that in… like… an INNING?

ohmygod! So, I’m watching these two cats. And one cat is adorable and awesome. And one cat hates me and tries to kill me in my sleep. And devil cat just cuddled on my lap! For like a minute! And didn’t scratch me in the face! So I took a picture to prove it! Side bar, yes, but more cheerful than the game!

Look! No face scratching! Look! It's a game day miracle!

Okay. I am working on my articles. Hopefully, I will be awake when this game restartssssss….

JEB, don’t MAKE me give the Red Sox fans more make-fun-of-you fodder…

TIED? I got disgusted with 7-6 and turned it off.


This is CHEAP.

What? What? Rain delay over? Aceves? Aceves! Hi! I sure am glad to see you…

HIT HIM? Damnit.


The goal is to NOT get the on base.

“How long can Franconca ride this horse?”


Ow. 14th batter Aceves has hit this year. Well, he did play for the Yankees, and I imagine that takes a while for you to get over.

Bottom of the 9th, extra innings in Stank game, Atlanta’s tied too…


Aceves used in four straight games.



And he hit this guy in the neck. So he is going to load the bases with hit-by-pitch?

And now the ump is involved?


Curt Young, when are you going to go talk to YOUR PITCHER?



Bard AND Morales in bullpen.


Aceves, please work your stress out on a punching bag or something, not an Oreo.

That batter was scared. He did a little mini-dodge. Can’t say I blame you.

Aceves looks like he is trying to exterminate you all.

ONE out.

Seriously. WHY are you doing this, Oreos? You have nothing to gain by a win. NOTHING. Just spite. SPITE.


Buck Showalter just rolled his eyes. BLAH.

Did you see the Oreo who threw his helmet when he was out at first earlier? That was hilarious.

Yikes. That just tried to kill Lavarnway. Right in the mask.


Okay, Aceves. You can hit him with a ball if you want to.

NO. I didn’t mean that. Please do not hit the bases loaded, Aceves.

And they are playing the Jaws theme. Which would work if your team was a FISH name. Baltimore, YOU MAKE NO SENSE.

Strike out to crowd adoration. Interesting how many Soxies are in your house, yes, Baltimore? I am trying to stay awake. But if I stop typing… it’s because I fell asleep on my keyboard again…

OUT. OhthankyouAlfredo.

This game is killing me.



Scutaro. Love.

Crawford. Ohno.




I HATE this announcer.

I HATE this game.

I HATE mlb.

AND I HATE this game.

Aviles is out.


I canNOT believe I have fought sleep for this.

Out one. Okay.

Out two. Okay.

Out three. OKAY.

9 Sooooo tired..


Categories: Drunken Live Blogging
  1. September 28, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Dearest Lauren-
    I will be at a bar…sans internet. I haven’t eaten today so I might as well go drink.
    I hope to be toasting to victory.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Everyone on the ESPN afternoon shows said we are losing tonight. So good news, we will win because ESPN sucks and they are always wrong.

    Bob Ryan sucks. He was part of that group.

  3. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    CLAY, He has been activated. I don’t know if that is good or bad news.

  4. September 28, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Nicely put! I would just add the peptalk from Animal House, always a classic. Now that my guys are completely out of the running, best of luck to you.
    — Kristen

  5. September 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Yeah, after all too many instances of being handed our asses by the Sox these last few seasons, I may wish you luck but draw the line at outright rooting for the Sox, LOL. I’m sure you understand. 🙂
    — Kristen

  6. September 28, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    This is our night!

    Hey Lauren, how come all the pics of you are mirror images?

  7. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    I want to win and I want Tampa to lose. I do not want a game Thursday. I can’t afford another sleepless night. I just can’t. Why doesn’t anyone care about my well being???????/

  8. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    I am live on the scenewith Lauren. We are at a crappy bar that has yet to put it on the Red Sox game and apparently does not have Wifi even though they told her they did. This is a good omen for the night.

  9. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    FDA, Lauren wants you know she cares about your wellbeing. Unfortunately nobody cares about her. Still no red sox game. This is like Waiting for Godot or Kafka or the literary allusion of your choice.

  10. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Lauren, are you using Jeb as your Dummy????? 🙂

    I say Jacoby should be moved down to the clean up spot because Gonzo and Papi are useless lately.

  11. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    The Boston game is now on. Victory. Still no Wifi.

    FDA, I don’t need Lauren to be a dummy. I can do that all by myself.

    And it’s ladies night at this bar. I think ladies nights are sexist and diacriminatory. Discuss.

  12. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    You are not missing anything Lauren. We get a hit then nothing else. Two innings now.

  13. September 28, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Wow. Look at all the comments already! I’m here!!

  14. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Thia game desperately needs to get exciting. I am hearing about the dating trials and tribulations of Lauren 🙂

  15. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    On a bright note, the Yankees are winning. And in this strange world, Boston needs a Yankees victory to prevent the unleashing of the mighty Bruce Chen!

  16. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    And Boston gets on the board. Lauren is strangely subdued. Still talking about boys. Sigh.

  17. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Mark Texiera has some integrity babay. Jeter and Granderson do not.

  18. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Lester, GIVE ME A BREAK.

  19. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Lauren ia sharing some strained analogy about Icarus and how the Red Sox flew too high. Feel free to discuss your favorite Greek/Roman myths in the comments.

  20. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    Girardi just took out their pitcher who has given up ONE hit. More blatant cheating no one cares about.

  21. JW
    September 28, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    So, SLackey is the starter if there’s a playoff? Ouch…

  22. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Texiera and Pedroia almost just homered at the same time.

  23. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    Hey Lauren, Why don’t you just date Jeb so you don’t have to go to bars? You can stay home and save my sanity by live blogging instead???? Why Lauren? Why?

    Lester is going to blow this and I am going to scream.

  24. September 28, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    Jesus Lester.

  25. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    David Ortiz I love your effort but you can’t run. Don’t stretch singles. EXCUSE ME, Don’t ATTEMPT to stretch singles.

  26. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    Oh and Lavarnway I love your homerun’s last night but one good game does not equal a clean up hitter. I guess that advice is for TERY FRANCONA not Lavarnway.

  27. September 28, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    I understand putting Lavarnway in the line-up. But, behind Gonzalez?

    • Jup
      September 28, 2011 at 9:46 pm

      Tito’s brain is scrambled. He doesn’t even know where he is anymore.

    • FireDannyAinge
      September 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm

      That is what I meant.

      And what is up with this rain? I never authorized rain.

  28. September 28, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Nothing says “throwing a game” like AJ Burnett in relief.

    • FireDannyAinge
      September 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm

      Oh no they didn’t? lol

  29. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    This is why I hate the Boston media. Can you believe this article came from a Boston paper.
    I know I sound horrible as a fan but would I drive to Baltimore to boo my team? hell no and I wouldn’t be dumb enough to admit it to a newspaper.


  30. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    The Yankees are trying to give up a 7 run lead. This is complete BULL SHIT MLB.

    • Jup
      September 28, 2011 at 10:25 pm

      I completely agree! How the hell do they get away with this?!

  31. FireDannyAinge
    September 28, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    I am done. I don’t even care anymore. I am really done.

  32. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    I am home now and still a rain delay? What gives?

    And I would date Lauren in a heartbeat. But she is so judgemental. And I don’t like cats. Or smoke. RIGHT LAUREN!!?!?!?!?

  33. Jeb
    September 28, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    Wait…what happened in the Yanks game? it was 7-0 when I left. TIED?

  34. September 28, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    You really don’t want to know

  35. September 28, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    I thought Ells was fast.

  36. September 28, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    Yeah, that Lavarnway move did not work tonight.

  37. Jeb
    September 29, 2011 at 12:01 am

    That just happened.

  1. February 10, 2012 at 10:04 am

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