Dolphins. It rained, so I am blogging about Dolphins. AND winning.
Rain. Big deal. Our plans don’t change people. WINNING. It’s what’s for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. And snack. And coffee break. And other snack…
So, I am preparing an inspirational blog to make everyone feel better. Based on my day.
The most amazing sports guru (Mike) I know was in the office today hanging with our sports editor (Steve). Oh and that Tigers fan I work with (Jeff). He’s here too.
If ANYONE can make us feel better in this time of adversity, it’s Mike, radio host, announcer extraordinaire.
Steve is TERRIBLE at making me feel better. He’s a Rockies fan, so, clearly, grumpiness is an issue.
So, Mike, make Red Sox fans feel better. It’s not so bad, right? Use the wide-eyed thing I think. Maybe if I look super sweet, he’ll give me GOOD news.
“Well, as a Red Sox fan, I wouldn’t be happy right now.” Mike.
“Here we go.” Steve. He’s heard this before. Like a few hours ago at lunch. And yesterday. And through random text messages when the Red Sox really piss me off. Hey, its sports. It’s his JOB.
“I mean, think about it,” Mike said. “They’ve lost first place. They have had a terrible September.”
Got it. Thanks.
“I mean, a terrible September.”
“They’ve lost first place.”
“They were 85 and 62,” he said. He says lots of things here. Lots and lots of things. Maybe I should rephrase the question.
How would you make Red Sox fans feel BETTER?
“I’ll tell you the team I think has an opportunity, but they’re running out of time, that’s the Angels.”
Right. The Red Sox, Mike. The RED SOX.
Steve, don’t you roll your eyes at ME.
“They went through a stretch where they lose eight out of their first ten in the month-“
“I don’t think that’s helping,” Steve said. Mid LAUGH.
“Well, I mean, it’s the truth. They’re folding. They’re folding fast,” Mike said.
Tell me SOMETHING, Mike.
“Even if you make the playoffs, you’re backing in. How much momentum has that given you?”
Faith, Mike. FAITH.
“Boston’s got to play tooth and nail like Atlanta. Atlanta’s dying too.”
Then we talk about Atlanta for a few minutes.
Now they’re at a computer, looking up the schedule.
“It only goes to Sept. 28,” Steve said. “They’ve got the Yankees this weekend and then they go to Baltimore.”
“It might be okay because you’ve got to figure the Yankees might rest some people. But again, Bostin has got to be really-“
More things we don’t want to hear….
“Detroit’s got no more road trips before the playoffs,” Jeff said.
“I tell you, al three teams got real tough games,” Mike said. “I would say right now Boston may back into this thing. They’re probably going to back in, but I don’t like the way Boston is playing.”
Nor do we.
“Think about it. They led the east. They were in control of the division.”
“It’s a shame, because I really thought they could have a run in that division.”
But the World Series isn’t set yet, Mike.
“It’s Phillies and Tigers in the World Series,” Jeff said.
“That’s a really good call. I’d like to Phillies to win it all because they have great pitching,” Mike said.
What about the SOX, Mike? The SOX?
“I could see them hanging on, and I mean seriously hanging on, but I don’t know what a threat they are to Detroit.”
But if you were trying to make Boston fans feel better. Feel BETTER. What would you say? If someone PAID you to do it?
“I mean, I’d have to be facetious about it, hon. I mean, if I am a Red Sox fan right now, I am grossly disappointed. How do you lose the division?”
“You came back this year. You come back to a bad start. Big deal. It’s April. Everybody knew they would recover. At the end of May- BAM- you’re the Red Sox… You’re leading the division over the Yankees and you go and blow it like this. How do you lose six out of eight to Tampa Bay?”
That’s not making me feel good, Mike.
“You lost two out of three at home and were embarrassed,” he said. “You lost to BALTIMORE. How do you lose two out of three to Baltimore. You just don’t do that.”
Well. Um. We did.
“You’re not picking up her spirits,” Steve said.
“I’m not saying that to be mean,” Mike said. “Baltimore. Here’s a team that’s in the bottom of the American League East. Think about it.”
I don’t want to.
“July, August, they were an atrocity. They were a laughing stock,” he said. “The team ERA for the month of July was over nine. I’m serious, though. How do you blow that series? You have got to win those games.”
Well. Um. We didn’t.
“You don’t let them go into your building and let them beat you,” he said.
Now he’s talking about Buck Showalter. BUCK SHOWALTER.
“That’s what happens,” he said. “It’s better than any sport in the world. It’s a long season. It’s a marathon.”
Back to the Orioles.
“That team you beat up on all year is a problem,” he said. “You’ve got problems because that team that you beat on in June and July, all of a sudden, that team becomes an albatross. It becomes a challenge. It becomes scary. You, on the other hand, you must win and, if you don’t win those games, you’re screwed.”
“They have got to be the biggest el foldo next to the Cubs.”
“When you’ve got teams on the ropes like they had and you’re letting them off the hook…”
“The Tigers’ closer is hot-o-matic.” Jeff said.
Now they are talking about teams I don’t care about. Like the White Sox. Mike is a White Sox fan.
He says they are a bigger failure than us!
“Well, yeah, because they could have won the central division.”
Now they’re talking about rent-a-player options.
Right. But Mike, what can WE do to win?
And then he says something terrible. Awful. Scary. Confusing.
“The biggest problem, I think, right now, Terry Francona is probably fired at the end of the season if they continue to fizzle the way they are, even if they get in,” he said. “Francona’s fired. How the hell can you collapse like that?”
“Oh, I’ll be upfront with you. If this was August, the rate they are going, I would think, yeah, Boston right now is the team to beat. They were playing well. They had a lot of confidence. They were basically winning games convincingly. Now, all of a sudden, my gosh, it’s like pulling teeth.”
“I think, right now, the Red Sox, in my opinion, are very lucky to be in the lead,” Mike said. “Baseball is a mental game.”
Now they are talking about the Tigers again.
And then, about 4 p.m., I go with our film critic to watch a movie: Dolphin Tale.
This movie is perfect.
Like, really perfect.
It has… a BEACH. DOLPHINS and… wait for it… MORGAN FREEMAN.
So, obviously, it is the greatest thing I have ever seen.
Based on the true story of this dolphin that loses its tail and uses a prosthetic.
Think about this, people. They were willing to write the dolphin off. Completely. Put her to sleep. And then, they persevered and saved her with a piece of plastic.
A true miracle.
THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what we have here at Yankees Stadium.
The makings of a miracle.
They are writing us off. Saying we’ll never swim again (like the dolphin! Like the dolphin). Just wait, America. Just wait. We have MORGAN FREEMAN on our side. And, I don’t know if you know this… but MORGAN FREEMAN played god this one time.
On another tangent, I have decided this is one of those movies for me on which I will judge relationships. It’s one of those, you don’t like this, I don’t like you kind of deals (dolphins! Morgan Freeman!) and I was telling my mother about this on the way home from work just now. And she said, “Is it like Free Willy? I hated Free Willy.”
WHO HATES FREE WILLY, I ask? Almost hitting the dumptruck in front of me.
“I hated Free Willy. I hated all those movies you kids wanted to see. Like Ferngully.”
My whole childhood is ruined.
Now. We need to be proactive. Like the kid in the movie. And create a plan. And gosh darn it, I think I have one.
4:10 tomorrow, people. 4:10. I will actually go out in PUBLIC to watch the game. Yeah. I will have to find a bar where no one knows me in case there’s a repeat of the napkin dispenser incident…
Seriously. A rain delay is another 24 hours for Kevin Youkilis to magically heal. And that’s what we all want, really. KEVIN YOUKILIS.
Winning commences tomorrow.
Gentlemen, to bed. For we rise at daybreak!
Go watch Dolphin Tale. GO.
Maybe CybelleKate is right and we should live blog anyway. Okay. Here goes. Home run? Home run? Home run! Single (Crawford). Oh! Look! Another home run! This is less fun than I anticipated…