Home > Drunken Live Blogging > The plight for 200: A New Age Greek tragedy: Sox vs Blue Jays: Live Blog

The plight for 200: A New Age Greek tragedy: Sox vs Blue Jays: Live Blog

It’s epic. And, as we all know, epics have this habit of being tragedies. I mean, it didn’t end well for Orpheus.

Think about it. Atlas. Forced to carry the world for all eternity.

Ghosts. Forced to wander, making the same fatal errors. Over and over. For all eternity.

Tim Wakefield. Forced to pitch game after game, to strive for that 200. Over and over. For all eternity.

6:30. Thirty minutes and counting.

Once more unto the breach…

See you there.


6:52. You know, I think Susan Lucci actually did win an Emmy. So, Timmy, you’ve got a shot at this 200 thing.


6:57. Did you know 200 is the smallest base ten nonprimeable number? And the number of something races Richard Petty or somebody won? Oh, and the sum of dollars given to Monopoly players when they pass Go.

2^3 \times 5^2

See? Not so scary. Right, Timmy? Right?


Now they are singing “Oh Canada.” Crap. I was singing along. Crap. Stop it, Lauren. STOP IT. You’re AMERICAN.


Fenway looks so pretty. Moment of silence. Picturesque.


Star Spangled Banner. Boston Police Officer. Whose brother is deployed in Afghanistan. Stephen McNulty. Cop can sing.


Youkie is a badass. Looks like he’ll have to have surgery after the final game. You know. That last World Series game. Right guys? Right guys?

Mary Ogonowski pitching. I’ve seen worse.

Okay. We’re just procrastinating. It’s inevitable. TWO HUNDRED or DON’T COME HOME. Wait. Home game.



Heidi Watney talking about the rotation “up in the air,” confirming Josh Beckett will be back by the end of the week, Thurs or Fri (YAY!). Erik Bedard making progress… could start Monday… Clay could be in bullpen Thurs… could face hitters next week…

Please don’t be too late.

Sox take the field.

It’s been a week, guys. I think we know the fricking Toronto lineup.

Tim Wakefield. 200. Let’s go.


The first pitch is a STRIKE! Kinda sad, but I am thrilled about that. And out at first! One out! One out! See that, EVERY OTHER PITCHER ON THE RED SOX?????

July 24 was his last victory. Four no decisions. Three losses. The curse of 200.

Hit by a pitch. Hit? Grazed. If that. I’d like to see a replay. I don’t know. Okay replay. I still don’t know. WHATEVER, umps.

One base runner. But an out. And optimism. So much optimism. Because Kevin Youkilis is back. Okay. I will try to contain myself. But he’s back you guys! He’s back! Jose Bautista shaking his elbows and swinging and missing. Do it again! Come on, Timmy.

I see some empty seats. That’s kinda rare at Fenway…

I could be sitting in one of those empty seats, damnit. I think FDA is out there somewhere. I’m looking for an angry woman will a bullhorn and hate vibes, but I don’t see her… 🙂

Strike out.


That’s two outs, by the way. Lester? See? See the two outs? How about you, Bard? See the outs? Do you need to take notes? You can borrow my pen.

See, that’s the goal. To get the outs. Scoreboard is out. It can’t hack the milestone either. Flutter inside. Ball. I like that word. Flutter. Popup into shallow right. Reddick takes it. Catches it.



Kevin Youkilis is back!

Jacoby Ellsbury. Ellsbury chops it to third. Thrown out at first. Instituting a big WHATEVER from the crowd.

Dustin Pedroia. Strike one. Okay. Announcers, stop bringing us down. Let’s just watch the guy bat. Morrow’s ball is doing weird acrobatics. I like it. Come on, Pedroia.

Yay. Pedroia listens. Pedroia hits. Pedroia doubles.

Feel the energy? There’s energy. It’s here. And pleasepleasepleaseplease don’t take it away.

Adrian Gonzalez attempts to do something. Well.

Ball three. I mean. He could walk. I’d be okay with that.

Jed Lowrie on deck. Gritting teeth.

Gonz walks to first.

Lowrie “digging in here in lieu of David Ortiz.”

Why? Where is David Ortiz?

Ohno. Please don’t tell me something happened to David Ortiz.

I mean it. Don’t tell me.

Okay. Tell me. I can take it.

Lowrie is out. Of course he is.

KEVIN YOUKILIS!!!! He shaved his beard. Um. I don’t like it. Um.


Has his nose always been curly like that? Oh. That’s my computer screen.

He gets HIT.  On the left hip. Suspicious.

Esp for a guy struggling with HIS LEFT HIP.

Bases loaded. Two down. Josh Reddick at bat. Taking strike one.

Go back to Youkie. Let’s make sure he is okay.


Reddick on eight game hitting streak. Yeah? Talk to me when it’s 200. Hit something, Reddick.

Morrow. You are on my list. Youk’s HIP? Seriously?

It’s really hard to be Youk’s wife. So many pitchers end up on your list.

They’re saying Ortiz went to batting practice. Maybe he is sick?

Reddick chops to first. It’s over. And then off the glove! Run Reddick! Run! Sox take 2-0 lead. It’s a MIRACLE.

Thanks, Canada.

And Crawford continues his streak of getting outs that strand people on bases.

But it’s 2-0!


2-0! 2-0! Shawn Thornton of the Bruins is in the announcer box! Says he starts fitness testing Friday.

Something happened. Off the wall. Crap muffins. A blue jay is on second.

Shawn is talking about “good times.” I think we would be friends, you and I, Shawn. He’s “hooked up here with Kevin Youkilis.” They’re like best friends or something. Shawn Thornton must e so cool. They are presenting books tomorrow to military families.

“He’s such a good guy. We get along really well,” Thornton says, of YOUKILIS. See, FDA? Even Bruins think he has a stellar personality.

Now Shawn is talking about golf.

While we were talking, Shawn, TERRIBLE things are happening.

A ball gone at first look? I don’t think so. Came down. Let’s see the replay.

Crap. Hit the ledge. Crap. STOP DISTRACTING US, SHAWN THORNTON. Three run homer. Now it is 3-2. and … BLAH.

Go away, Shawn. Your awesome plaid shirt is dazzling the announcers. And they aren’t paying attention. And unless you are going to come to North Carolina and buy me dinner, you are of no immediate use to me.

“You want to drop me right now just to stay in shape?” Remy said.

Now they’re going to joke about that for five minutes.

Now they’re talking about how great Youkie is.

Maybe he needs a personal assistant.

Dumbest homerun ever.

So 3-2. Toronto. Okay. You deal and move on. No outs. Okay. Dealing.

And out at first. So we have AN out. Okay. Thanks, PEDROIA. Youkie, I think I miss your beard. I don’t know. Let me look at you for a little while.

Chris Woodddddddddd. I remember you. The announcers are all talking about the Stanley Cup. Even I have seen the Stanley Cup. It came to Charlotte that one time.

There’s a hockey team in Raleigh.

Go Tim. Come on. Strike out. SO two outs. Okay. Do I have a third?

No. NO. STOP throwing balls. STOP IT. Full count. In the air. Caught. Yes. Three outs.



They are talking about how full the clubhouse is after stealing everyone from Pawtuckett.

Base hit for Scut!

He’s 7 for 11 against Morrow. I LIKE you, Scut. I like you so much better than Jed Lowrie.

Salty. Jarrod. Saltalamacchia. Two hits shy of 1,000 for his career. Uhoh. Another milestone. Uhoh.

Scut steals second.

Maybe Morrow caught the Bard disease. His balls are bouncing. I meant his baseballs.

David Ortiz was scratched before the lineup with BACK SPASMS???? Announcers say Back SPASMS? Oh no. That’s terrible. That’s the worst thing that could- what is a back spasm?

Scut takes third. One down.

A spasm is a spontaneous, abnormal contraction of a muscle. When it occurs in the back near the spinal cord or the nerve roots, it can be very painful.


Air to left… OFF THE WALL! Scut scores! 3-3. Thanks, Jacoby Ellsbury!

It looks like muscle relaxants may cure a back spasm. And heating and cooling. Okay. Thanks, Cedars-Sinai.

Hah. Morrow charged. And Jacoby moves third.

Pedroia out. But Ellsbury SCORES! 4-3.

Back spasms can result when a muscle has been torn or overworked, resulting in inflammation. This inflammation stimulates nerves to the muscles and causes them to tighten and contract. Back spasms typically occur in the mid-back, around the shoulder blades, but can also strike the lower back. If you’re one of the unfortunate people suffering from this injury, you’ll certainly want to know what it takes to treat a back spasm.

Yes, Wiki. Tell us more.

Oh no. Cortisone injections. Oh now. Physicians. No time frame. Oh no.

Two outs. Let’s do this. Grounder to first. Inning over.


Timmy Wakefield. Base hit for Thames? Really?

Hi, S36. I am glad you’re here too. I think we’re going to need moral support or something. Because this is tough. Oh…

And now we’re learning about the Harvest Moon. I DO NOT CARE, JERRY REMY.

And pitch goes crazygonuts and Runner takes second. Salty! This happened LAST time you and Wake played. Can’t you guys practice or something? Maybe go grab a beer? Bond over hopes. Dreams. Milestones. Something.

High drive. Deep left.

Two run homer.


5-4 Toronto.

Ohno. And now Scott Atchinson is in the pen.

Oh no.

Ninth time the charm?

Oh no.

Ball four. Walks one. Still ZERO outs.

And now we’re talking about Tom Brady. SHUT UP.

It was close. It was kind of close. Curt Young looking at a clip board so he doesn’t have to watch this.

Wow. That woman looks angry. Was that you, FDA?

Ball two. Breathe, Wake. BREATHE. Ellsbury makes the catch for the FIRST out.

To Youk (after juggling the ball, WAKE) but too late. Not your fault, baby.

We have a runner on first. A runner on second. Two outs to go. Strike. Finally. Do it again.

Or almost hit him. Really? Wake?

Striiiiike out. So one more out. JUST ONE MORE OUT IN THIS HORRIBLE INNING.

And the announcers are talking about the moon again.

Strike two. Okay. ONE more. Wild ball. But he swings. Strike.

Talking about David Ortiz’ back spasms again. Lowrie pretending he can hit like Ortiz. Fenway pretending to believe him.

Reddick. Base hit. Two outs???? Two outs? Did that happen while Heidi was talking???? What the frick, NESN?

Crawford up. Which means inning is over. I could be watching Prison reak on Netflix or stealing someone’s television to watch the premiere of 90210.

Or inventing a new computer system like Steve Jobbs did with Apple. I could be computery. I’m on a computer right now. And it’s an Apple.

There are many things I could be doing right now.

Full count for Crawford. Foul. Come on! Ohohohohohohohohohhhhhh

In the air… In the air… And he makes the catch.



Now we’re replaying that catch over and over again. Great.

They kept Wake in. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, sure, give the guy a chance, but we’re in a bit of a pickle here post-season-wise…

One out. Full count on McCoy. Catch. Second out. Okay. Reddick. Catch. Out. Okay. Let’s do THAT inning again. Offense, it’s YOUR turn.


Scut. I like you against this team, Scut.

Five losing streak- longest since the 6-streak we started the season with, announcer said. Like I said. A crap sandwich of a season. Please don’t let it end in shit.

One out. Crap.

Salty. Out at first.

Orioles are beating Tampa. That’s something.

HOME RUN FOR JACOBY. I mean, there’s no one on base. At all. BUT HOME RUN!

5-5. TIE score.

PEDROIA HOME RUN! Back to back home runs. Lovely. 6-5. I think it’s fair to say Pedroia the Destroyah is back.

Still two outs. Come on, kids. For WAKE.

Adrian Gonz. Come on. Join the club.

No one on base. I know how you like to get homers that drive no one in.

Grounds out at first. Yep. Gonz only likes homers when we already have massive leads.


Wake. Ball three. Come on, Wake…

Leadoff walk.

And base hit. Runner first. Second.

David Cooper, aka error boy.

Zero outs, by the way. Until now. STRIKE OUT.

Ellsbury catches for out two.

One. More. With two runners on.

Runners go to second and third. As Salty decides to juggle instead of catch.

Wake pitching low. Seems determined to walk the bases loaded. Foul. Two and one.

Gonz almost gets a catch. But not quite. Ball drops on step of dugout. Crawford catches. OUT.


Jed Lowrie. He’d rather pace than bat, apparently. Slowest batter evvvvverrrrrr.

Pops up to shortstop for an easy catch, first out.

And the star of the show, Kevin Youkilis, is… out at first. Damn.

Sometimes when we play teams like Toronto, I feel like we’re shopping. I look for players I like and think of how lovely it would be if we traded Lackey for these pawns.

Reddick pops out.

Still 6-5, Boston.


Top of 6, 90th pitch for Wake.

I’m glad Wake is still throwing. Lord knows what waits in the bullpen.

Strike out.

Salty’s playing with the ball and not catching it again.

Chris Woodward. Flys…. OUT to Jacoby.

Two down.

Heidi is talking news and notes. Mike Cameron was just released by the Marlins. Poor Mike. Injury. Retires.

Oh, Manny Ramirez arrest. Ordered to stay away from his wife.

Back to the game. Pop up…. Pedroia makes the catch. Lovely inning.

“Maybe tonight is the night,” announcer with no sense of irony says.



Crawford off the wall! Yay. Double. I could be bitter and say it’s because we have no one on base and are winning. But that’s the old negative me of ten minutes ago.

Bottom of the 6.

Scut at the bat. Just get Crawford ahead, Scut. Sacrifice? Bunt? I don’t care. Homerun? That would be swell. Do that.

Bunt down. Out at first. But Crawford is at third.

Pitcher change.

Luis Perez.


BASE HIT! Crawford scores. 7-5!

Swell. Salty is at first. Jacoby. Jacoby, it would be nice if you would repeat your homer.

That will work! Base hit. Single.

I like this Perez guy. I remember him now. He allowed like eight, right?

Pedroia at the plate. One out.

In the air to left…. HOME RUN!!!!!

10-5. Three extra runs. 10-5. Pedroia is assuredly back. Yes.

Don’t get complacent, please. Oh, goody. Gonz! He’ll let them fly now that we don’t ned them to fly.

Adrian! Base hit! First base.

Perez getting called back? Aw, I liked that guy. Curt Young? Pay attention. See how they pull the guy that allows a lot of runs? Food for thought.

Lowrie batting. This could take awhile.

Crap. Double play.

But we still got some insurance. I like insurance. I mean. I don’t like paying for it. Or needing it. But…


Crawford catches. One out.

Tim is resting. And watching Aceves slam by Bautista. Two and OOOOOO. Get it together, Alfredo.

Reddick makes the catch. Two outs.

And out three. Thanks, Alfredo.


They’re talking about Youkie diving on his hip to end the inning. He’s a martyr like that.


“You can see, clearly in pain but, doing all he can do,” announcer said.

He’s like a baseball marine.

Work through it, baby. If I were there, I would give you an ibuprofen. Or five. Ow. That replay looks painful. I think his face got a little scruffier during the game. That’s something. Strikes out. Probably because his hip is on fire. Rest him tomorrow, Tito…

Camera pans away from the F-bomb he dropped.

Reddick at the plate. Ground out to first.

It’s the bottom of the 7th, by the way, if you’re keeping track at home. Crawford. Liner to left field! Base hit. He’s like old Crawford. I mean their old Crawford. Not our old Crawford.


Outside in the dirt. One and one. Tito’s eating sunflower seeds. Jays pen getting some action because this guy’s getting behind in the count. Strike two. Scut hits it in the air… falls fair… Crawford scores! 11-5. Neato. Scut’s 1,000th career hit. That’s called a milestone. Hopefully, not the last tonight.

Salty thrown out at first. Inning over. But damage done.


Alfredo Aceves. Please don’t screw this up.

Smoltz? He is the last Sox pitcher who was a member of the 200 win club? Really?

Yuck. I thought it was Curt Schilling.

Milestone doesn’t mean as much as it did before you told me the answer to that trivia question, Jerry.

Top of the 8th.

One out. One on first.

Crapola. That sucked. I’m not sure what was going on with that team juggle, but now we have two runners.

Pop out. Two outs. 11-5 still.

Out. And we enter the bottom of the 8.

Tazawa warming up in the pen. Jacoby at the plate. Pedroia working on his swing. Jacoby jogs to first. Because he wants to win. Walk.

Pedroia, he of the two homeruns this game… could go for three?

Zero outs. Man on first. Yay. Off the wall. Almost a catch but not. And they fly.

Jacoby doing some crazy base stealing action. Second and third guarded by Sox. Word. Gonz at the plate. Seeing if he can join the relevant club.

Base hit.

Lovely game. 12-5. Us.

Lars Anderson is pinch running. We’ve met before, Lars.

Conor Jackson is hitting.

Yes. We’re at that comfort anyone-can-play place. I missed this place.

Zero outs. Runner at first and third.

Caught. Caught. Blah. But it’s 13-5, one out.

Base hit! Look at these rookies shine. I’m sleepy now.

Salty. Pop out. Mmhm.


This is ridiculous. Their pitching makes me cringe with empathy.

Loaded bases. Walk. 14-5.

The Toronto dugout looks like they’re prepping to gut this poor guy.

Seriously. Watch your back when you get back to Toronto, because that was another base hit. 17-5. I’d like to say this is an offensive explosion, but we’ve seen it recently from the other side. This is Toronto’s pitching mound imploding.

I am starting to feel bad for them. 18 to 5.

Out. I think that was a pity pop.


Tazawa is pitching. He looks pretty excited.

Big day for you Tazawa. Some guy I didn’t recognize caught one for the out and just threw it with this badass look. I love watching rookies play (you know, when we’re 18-5).

They’re so cute.

Running around.

It’s like one of those jv-varsity games in high school.

Two outs, boys.

I’d like this game to be my screensaver.

It’s like puppy bowl.

I’m not even going to argue ridiculous calls. There is no point at 18-5.

18-6. Okay.


Andddddd Game over.

Congrats, Timmy. Congrats.



Categories: Drunken Live Blogging
  1. September 13, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I know Wake is prone to the big inning. But, if he could stop doing it right after the Sox get him a lead, that would be great.

  2. September 13, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    Enough already!

    • September 13, 2011 at 10:24 pm

      We did it, S36. You and me. We did this. Congratulations to us. And. Um. Timmy.

  3. cybellekate
    September 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    I had to work tonight. Just got home. What’d I miss??? 🙂

    • September 13, 2011 at 10:37 pm

      You, dear, missed GLORY.

  4. FireDannyAinge
    September 13, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    We won. My luck is back. Glad Wake got his 200th even though he tried to give it away. I think I got some good pictures. I’ll put them up later.

  5. Jup
    September 14, 2011 at 1:55 am

    I absolutely knew they would run up the score. Could swear I saw Timmy crying after the game. Man, what a night.

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