Home > Drunken Live Blogging > So, I start watching in the 8th… Sox vs Rays. Live Blog.

So, I start watching in the 8th… Sox vs Rays. Live Blog.

It is 7 to 2. Hmmm.

See, a few hours ago, this would be enough to send me into a pillow-destroying tizzy, but I have had a few drinks and an extremely good evening. So you can’t touch me, Tampa.

Hmmm. 7 to 2. I wonder what-

Oh. John Lackey.

Oh. Left with a “bruise.”

Yeah. If I destroyed spirits and threatened the wildcard, I’d call “bruise” too.

And Kevin Youkilis. I am so glad you are watching this in Boston. I hope you are not watching. I hope you are thinking happy thought about glitter and unicorns. What just happened? Why are we having a moment of silence? I missed that. I think someone got clocked with a pitch.

Oh. Terry Francona’s eating sunflower seeds again.


And we have a close up on underwear lines in pants. Nice, MLB.

Yeah. 7 to 2.


Oh good. A close up on the suffering guy’s face.

This has been what, four minutes? We don’t stop that long when people are hit by pitches. You know. Players. Not umps. Who. Um. aren’t exactly people.

Oh. I get it. He got hit in the- oh.


And it’s still going on. Awkward announcer speak.

“I guess time truly does heal all wounds,” annoucner said.

“But the scar remains.”

“All you can do is wait.

Shut up and play.


Of course. It was a Sox pitcher. So, we clock an ump in the… um… and ….


Of course it’s 7 to 2.

I’d help the other team too if they hit me in the- well, I don’t have -… but…


They must be terribly inconvenient. Those… um… things.

Morales, Morales, Morales.

BJ Upton. You just look like a little punk. It’s your eyes.

My post-work was so great. I’ll tell you about it soon. But I tend to jinx great things. So. Biting the lower lip on this one.


Wade Davis pitching. He looks like a serial killer. It’s his mouth.

So. 9th, hmmm?

So. This is it, hmmm?

I am glad I didn’t see this. I think my night would have drastically imploded.

Pops out. Yes, Gonz does. Of course he does. He hits when. You know. We’re ahead by fifteen thousand.

Dustin Pedroia. Oh, I’m glad you got a single earlier. That’s something.

I’m glad I didn’t have to see you play, Johnny Damon. I probably would have thrown up a little in m mouth.

Dustin Pedroia.

“These are dangerous hitters we’re talking about here,” announcer said.


I see that.

Pedroia flies it right. And It’s caught over the shoulder. Of course it is.

So. Met a guy. Only mentioned the Red Sox like twice.

Improvement, right?

And I breathed in between and everything and didn’t spit it out in a minimonologue of word vomit. Oh. And he’s not from North Carolina. And he like solar panels. And I didn’t make literary references or talk about politics or anything.


And-and-and-and- and here’s the kicker. I’ve never seen him before. Ever. And that is mighty attractive.

You know what’s NOT attractive? Popping out. So, Papi. Let’s not.

I’m glad it’s Papi at the plate. He’s really the only person I want in this situation.

Anddddd strikes out.


Well. Fiddlesticks.

So, I met this guy…


Categories: Drunken Live Blogging
  1. thegreatdepressive
    September 10, 2011 at 6:16 am

    I was going to leave this on your wall, but apparently Facebook doesn’t allow wall posts of greater than 1,000 characters. Stupid Facebook.

    This is my attempt to make you feel better about the Red Sox:

    So ok, Boston is letting the AL East slip through John Lackey’s fingers. BUT ALL IS NOT LOST! I’m guessing that Boston will end up playing Detroit in a Best of 5 to start the playoffs. Detroit is not that good no matter what FDA says. They are 41-21 against a mediocre Central. That means they are exactly 41-41 against everyone else. .500! Take away Verlander and what do you have? Not much. And Detroit is probably going to be the worst defensive team in the playoffs this year. Giving more than 3 outs each inning to Boston’s offense will be hazardous to the Motor City’s health.

    And look who is surging in the Al West. The Angels! You hate the Angels! They could take the division! They would play the Yanks. Didn’t they beat the Yanks in the playoffs once? With the Rally Monkey? It could happen again! Angels advance to play Boston which is a much more favorable matchup than Texas or New York. How are the Angels going to score runs? Only four AL teams have scored less. Every team in the AL East has scored more. You can handle that right? And besides, I’m pretty sure it’s a fact that no team with two cities in their name has won more than two playoff series in the same year. The Angels certainly haven’t since they changed their name!

    And while all that is going on, Philly is sure to slip up against Atlanta/Milwaukee/Arizona right? I’d favor Boston against any of those three even with NL home field.

    The planets are clearly aligning for another Boston Red Sox World Series. No reason you should be nervous!

    That was my attempt to make you feel better about the Red Sox.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    September 10, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    If they don’t care about winning neither do I. If they don’t care about winning the division, neither do I.

    Plus if we have no shot at winning in the post season then let them lose in the first round instead of to NY.

  1. October 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

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