Home > Scary Red Sox Rants > What two-year-olds can do

What two-year-olds can do

I love my family. I love our two-year-olds. I love the idea of loving these two-year-olds.

But aquariums with 500,000 people and long, anticlimactic lines to disturbing shark exhibits? Not a good way to keep said two-year-olds lovable.

I think, no matter how cute the two-year-olds are (and they’re even cute when they are screaming, kind of… oh… I figured out how to get them to stop screaming. Just start screaming too. It’s okay. We’re on vacation. No one knows us here) the two-year-olds make you crazy.

A little bit.

So crazy that, when you find a waiter from Newton, Mass., you’ll leave him your phone number. Even if he’s a Yankee fan and you know better. You may be crazy enough to write your number and “for when you’d like a sports ethics lesson” on a napkin.

Your standards for adult company, ANY adult company, apparently, just sink. Plummet, really.

Yay, Red Sox. Going out with random Yankees fans you meet at the beach is a lot easier when your team is winning.

Just saying.

Yes, FDA. I know better.

But beach… rebound? I mean, it could be worse. Kevin Gregg could be here.

L

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Categories: Scary Red Sox Rants
  1. August 10, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    No reason not to leave your number with a Yankees fan. Just consider it a conversion attempt.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    August 11, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I agree with 36. NO NUMBER for a Yankee fan especially guys from Massachusetts that root for NY. I have a connection with Newton. What’s the guys name I might know him.

    • FireDannyAinge
      August 11, 2011 at 7:09 pm

      Ooops I mis-read. I disagree with 36. You know what sucks worse then teh Yankees…??? YANKEE FANS. Now that I think about it you seem like the type to become a Yankee fan cuz the guy is one. Shame on you. I am dis-gusted.

  3. August 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    You think a girl with a Red Sox blog would change teams for a guy? Doubtful.

    • FireDannyAinge
      August 11, 2011 at 9:20 pm

      I do think that. I LOVE Lauren but she seems a bit flaky. Guess that invite ton the wedding will get lost in the mail now:)

  4. August 12, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Especially if she marries a Yankees fan.

    • FireDannyAinge
      August 12, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      She still plans on marrying Youkilis.lol

  5. thegreatdepressive
    August 13, 2011 at 12:08 am

    Women like men who are confident. Yankees fans are confident. Makes perfect sense to me.

    Hey! Since I pull for the Pirates, guess whether or not I’m a confident guy!

  6. FireDannyAinge
    August 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Yankee fans are arrogant NOT confident. They still think they won in 04.

    That is why Yankee fans are stabbing Sox fans. Running us over with their cars. They can’t handle the fact they lost.

  7. FireDannyAinge
    August 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Really Lauren. This vacation of yours is taking way too long. Get your butt back here and blog. I miss you.

  8. August 15, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Ohwow. Okay, guys. Relax. It’s vacation. You can go out with ANYONE on vacation. Especially when you’re irrationally vulnerable and reboundy.
    I would NEVER go out with a Yankees fan in real life. You know, unless he had about 80 million dollars. And wasn’t an actual Yankee player.
    I would go out with a Yankee player. Totally. But he would have to write me a check and set up a private living trust. Oh, and have a boat. And really dark sunglasses. These are conditions I will not compromise on.
    Kevin Youkilis is my one true love. And he has like a million dollars. Which makes him even more attractive.
    I am back. I am getting settled. I hate this whole, whole, whole, whole state. Really, I do. I don’t think I knew that yesterday. But I am getting settled. And will blog shortly.

    • FireDannyAinge
      August 15, 2011 at 5:09 pm

      You can use him for sex then dumb him and make him cry. That’s okay.And yea to you being back.

  9. August 15, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Welcome back!

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