Home > Uncategorized > The John Lackey Pledge. Second Draft.

The John Lackey Pledge. Second Draft.

After much soul searching, I have redrafted the John Lackey Pledge.

Following an inning of stress, suckage and general irritation, I have decided the first John Lackey Pledge doesn’t cut it. No.

But we did win. And it was satisfying. The win. NOT you, John Lackey.

So. Several drafts later, I have decided upon the following document to address the accusation of cruelty on my part toward a certain slackjawed pitcher.

I, Lauren, of TOOSOXY acclaim, do hereby vow to be nice(er) to John Lackey.

I present this for the world to see.

Don’t worry. I’m legit. I had a witness.

Until tomorrow- be well!


  1. July 28, 2011 at 2:56 am

    Oh Lackey. I thought we’d miss his arm when he left and then, after his choice spring traning parting remarks, I wanted the Angels to kick his team-and-fan-dissing ass all over the field – and we all know how that worked out, or rather didn’t until the last series this season. But I never wished him ill otherwise and I’m actually a little sorry to see him pitching this way. But he has only his own bad attitude to blame and, while I thought we’d miss his arm, I was actually glad to see that attitude leave Anaheim.
    — Kristen

  2. July 28, 2011 at 5:19 am

    ” Except in cases of suckage or impending extreme suckage.” I LOVE THAT! We won again with wood power and the “barely good enough John Lackey-daisical.

  3. July 28, 2011 at 5:21 am

    Beautiful doggie. I love dogs and I had two wonderful cats,”my boys,” but they’re no longer with me. Their pics are on my refrigerator and I say good morning and good night to them every day. I miss ’em so much.

  4. Jup
    July 28, 2011 at 8:25 am

    See, THIS pledge I can sort of get behind. I might have a few edits of my own, but yeah, this may work!

  5. July 28, 2011 at 8:34 am

    I would think for this to hold up legally there might need to be a clarification of what constitutes “suckage”…especially “extreme suckage.” I mean, you would not want to leave this open-ended for some American jury to overturn if a trial came about. Your four-legged notary is indeed beautiful…but what is that device sitting next to Ellie on top of the Pledge? It amuses me…

  6. July 28, 2011 at 9:27 am

    “Extreme suckage” should be a stat on the back of the baseball card. Just sayin’…

  7. FireDannyAinge
    July 28, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    OMG I love the small print. Brilliant.

  1. August 1, 2011 at 10:37 pm
  2. October 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

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