Home > Uncategorized > Really? Oh. John Lackey. OF FRICKING COURSE.

Really? Oh. John Lackey. OF FRICKING COURSE.

Of course, John Lackey. OF COURSE.

I just…

I can’t…

They are the PADRES, Lackey. The PADRES. The LAST in their division. Their NATIONAL LEAGUE division. LAST PLACE IN ALL OF FRICKING BASEBALL. It takes SKILL to LOSE.

I just…

I can’t talk about this now. Maybe tomorrow. Or. Um. Later today.

Damn shithawks.


PS: Listen, Slothy, McGoonieson, I think it’s time for you to hit the DL. Comprende, you Wind-in-the-Willows-esque toad turd? The DL or LA. TAKE. YOUR. PICK.

but you stay on my baseball team, I WILL ridicule you.

“He went back out after the rain delay and just looked like he lost his feel,” said Francona, this time speaking specifically about Lackey. “I don’t think the conditions were very good for either pitcher but he just lost his command and it cost us some runs.”

I was right the first time. I just can’t talk about this. It’s too soon. It’s too soon, damnit.

“You guys are going to write what you want to write, whatever,” Lackey said.

I want to write that you were lack a formless Stretch Arm Strong out there drowning in a pool of your own urine (That’s rain? I couldn’t tell). But whatever. You were like a Shrek interpretation of Gene Kelly in “Singing in the Rain.” Great movie. Great lamppost dance, BUT COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

We’ll talk about this tomorrow. Oh, boy, will we.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 23, 2011 at 8:34 am

    I never want to drown in a pool of my own urine. Or rain.

  2. Jup
    June 23, 2011 at 9:43 am

    I was at that game. If there had been a lead pipe handy, Lackey would be on the DL right now.

  3. June 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    I tuned in just in time for the implosion. It was very surreal. And not just the Lackey part. The whole game. The game shouldn’t even have been played. Period. It was just stupid. I blame Selig. Of course, I blame him for all of baseball’s problems.

  1. October 26, 2011 at 11:47 am

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