Brewing up a win- but at the cost of Youk. And Crawford. AND YOUK!
Youk. Downed by a stomach bug. Probably the same one that hit Salty last week. Biological warfare, perhaps? It happened to the Native Americans, you know. They were given blankets that they thought would keep them warm but in reality they had Small Pox. Jerky white people.
Maybe enemy #1 David Price doused the ball he nailed Youkie with in Small Pox. Or. Um. The flu? Are we sure it was a stomach bug? Because it could have been anthrax. Quick, guys! That’s not baseball dirt!
I’m blaming David Price.
Anyway, next casualty in the fight for freedom? Our own Carl Crawford. Hurts his leg on the way to first base. At least he was on his way to a base (ahem, JED LOWRIE, ahem). You know, on the way to actually accomplishing something (JED LOWRIE).
So, two down.
But it’s anything but a wash, as the offense literally explodes badassishness all over the field. And it’s a lot for the Brewers to clean up. 10 to fricking 4.
Sorry, Brewers, but that’s how we do it in the ALE.
So, let’s analyze this bit of interleague smacking, shall we?
US. You know. For winning.
The Brewers. You know. For having the most kickass non-Red Sox name in baseball.
A stomach bug, apparently. Stupid evolution granting wins to microscopic things!
John Lackey. You stress me out. And you’re ogre-like (after that one inning, I can say that), but you stuck it out for 8 innings. Kudos.
Jason Varitek and his monster double action. I hope FDA saw that!
Gonzalez- 15th homerun and still making my heart smile.
Our hitters in general. Thank you for kicking ass today.
Me. For missing most of the game. For work. Again. Oh, and for staying home to do MORE work. On a Friday.
Pedroia, I wasn’t happy about your pop out. But I forgive you. Because you are kickass. And because my anger at one play looks petty when there are 14 hits.
Yeah. Um. There really wasn’t a loser.
Not even you, Brewers. Because you tried really hard. And, as everyone who isn’t the Red Sox will tell you right now, it’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you play the game.
So, David Price, even though you are not a Brewer, you are a SUPER loser tonight in my book.
Oh, the Yankees lost. That was special.
You know what else is special? Beer. Which I will totally drink in honor of you, Brewers. In fact, tonight’s Miller Light is in honor of you AND Andrew Miller. Because, um, his name is Miller. And he looks kind of squirrely. So Light.