Since 1972. I was negative 12 in 1972.
The Bruins are about to sip champagne from the Stanley Cup for the first time since 1972, a year when, I hear, there were a lot more sodas in glass bottles.
It’s kind of a big deal.
Like your brain getting oxygen, kind of a big deal.
And Nicholas Cage. Never being in a movie again.
That would be amazing.
Like a Bruins win.
But Tim Thomas, baby, I would watch all the Nicholas Cage movies in the world if… okay… I’d watch like, at least two (God, please not City of Angels) if it would help inspire you to victory.
I would sit through a six hour town council meeting if… Oh. Right. I did that this week.
I would spend hours pouring over tax records if… oh. Right. Did that too.
I would… um… (insert it here) if you would just win for me today.
And, you know, for yourselves and all…
See, I’ve had a bad day at work. A… really bad day. Of sorting through tax records and sitting through meetings. Long ones. Of fantasizing about other places, other papers and maybe working on a cruise ship.
And I have a meeting today where food will be served (usually a yay) but, since I’m in Boone, North Carolina, there’s a good chance there will be bacon grease (ew) in the fried apples and I’ll be late for my (um, our) hockey game.
This may not mean anything to you, Tim Thomas, but beard combs don’t mean anything to me, and I would totally get you one if you asked me to.
That being said, I am making no sense. It’s like Jabberwocky, but this day doesn’t rhyme, baby.
See how much I need a win, Tim?
MAYBE, if you won for me, I would make sense.