A victory song.
Well, I’m feeling better.
How about you, Bruins fans? You pumped?
How about now?
I’m taking a page out of FDA‘s book and making a list of potential victory songs. You know, for when we’re the
potential Stanley Cup champs, you know, a-swiggin’ champagne and dancing in our uber-skates.
1. We are the Champions.
No. Not because we will be the champions. You think I’m that cheesy? We are the Champions because THAT is what they played in The Mighty Ducks. That’s right. The greatest hockey movie ever (you heard me) and an inspiration the Bruins should really pay attention to. Remember in the second movie when the stupid Russian (were they Russian? Or Prussian or something?) hockey team did that group glare and Emilio and crew were like, ‘whatever?’ We’re going to be like that. The Ducks. Not the whatever team. Because the Ducks won. Oh, they won. Fly, Bruins. Fly.
Wouldn’t it be swell if bears could fly? You know, in a scary irrational way that only people drinking off work with Keystone Light could appreciate? But that’s a TANGENT.
2. Margaritaville. Because the bar I am going to does not have champagne in Stanley Cups. But they DO have margaritas. You know. From a mix. In a pint glass. Because this isn’t a tiki bar.
Ohmygod it would be awesome to watch hockey at a tiki bar! With one of those displaced screen hanging from a rafter with the ocean in the background? All I see now are mountains and rain. Which is great if you’re looking to slide down a mud shoot into a pile of parking lot gravel.
But that’s a TANGENT.
3. I can see clearly now- by Johnny Nash. It’s raining. Did I mention that? Wouldn’t it be great if it… wasn’t?
4. Prince- Party like it’s 1999. Um. Because it’s Prince. Duh.
5. Feel like makin’ love- um… Because.
6. Thank you. That’s by Dido. It’s kind of a crappy song. You know, the kind you hear in a commercial. Probably Hallmark. But I think it expresses my gratitude for our amazing 13-0 shut-out Game 7 victory.
7. I hate you Maxim Lapierre. Okay. It may not be a song now, but I’m going to write it on my way to the bar. I will sing it for you later, if you want. I think I’ll make a music video. I have this vacuum attachment that kind of looks like a microphone. I mean, I have an actual microphone, but I think that’s a little technical.
8. Anything from Footloose. Um. Because it’s Footloose, people.
9. That Carolina Wagon Wheel song. Because I am in North Carolina and I haven’t heard it in awhile.
10. I will always love you. That will be a personal ballad to Tim Thomas. I will use the vacuum attachment. It will be sexy. But private sexy. You know.
11. Defying Gravity from Wicked.
All good lists go to 11.
What are your victory songs?
SHUT UP, JEB. WE DO NOT NEED LOSER SONGS. WHY DON’T YOU HOP ACROSS THE BORDER?
I feel better. I hardly want a drink at all, really.