Home > Scary Red Sox Rants > NO. Tim Wakefield should NOT be ‘bumped.’

NO. Tim Wakefield should NOT be ‘bumped.’

Let’s start a petition. Quick, FDA! Grab the markers! Bick, you grab the posterboard and Jup and I will meet you behind the bleachers.

“With Andrew Miller holding a June 15 outclause in his deal, it’s a given that the Red Sox are about to call up the former first-round pick of the Tigers.”

Awesome. Okay. Andrew Miller. Hmmm.

“Apart from an eight-appearance stint in the pen during his pro debut in A-ball in 2006, Miller hasn’t worked as a reliever.”

That’s okay. I’m sure he’ll be swell.

“As much progress as Miller has made recently, the right move now is to stick him in the rotation.”

Sure. Okay. Wait…

“It wouldn’t be a big surprise if he’s the choice to start when the Red Sox face the Brewers on Sunday.”

But what about Wakefield? Hmmm? What about Wakefield?

It’s not just me. Wakefield is amazing. He drinks from a private fountain of youth in his locker. He shares sometimes with Jason Varitek, but the water fountain only responds to his hand print. That’s why John Lackey keeps getting older. Wakefield is amazing. New York even thinks so. See?

Please, Theo? Please?

Just keep him until his skin falls off?

I hear that’s what wrinkles do to you.

I wouldn’t know.

I’m 27.


Categories: Scary Red Sox Rants
  1. June 14, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    I just turned 53. Wrinkles have indeed appeared but my skin remains remarkably intact. Then again…I’m a “young” 53. I love Tim Wakefield. I have no earthly idea who Mr. Miller is but I agree…no bumping the beloved TIMMY!

  2. FireDannyAinge
    June 14, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    I am not a big old man fan but count me in for the not bumping him. He has earned the right to start.

    I am between you two in age. I have wrinkles.

  3. Jup
    June 15, 2011 at 8:45 am

    I don’t see a reason why he can’t pitch after his skin falls off. You don’t need skin to throw a knuckleball.

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