They want to coat our nation in syrup and feed us to a moose herd. Really. I heard it from Michael J. Fox.
Tonight, the United States, whether we are baseball fans or hockey fans, stand together.
Tonight, we fight Canada!
Cue the Pledge of Allegiance!
Seriously. Why isn’t your hand over your heart? Do you hate America?
Because JoJo Reyes does!
Do it for the troops, Boston!
Those wiley syrup makers are trying to take over, eh! They’ll bring their moose (the size of pickup trucks, I tell you!) and their hats and their bacon and their gravy fries. They’ll put wigs on our lawyers and Nickelback on our radios! Do you like Nickelback? Well, do you, punk?
Tonight… WE FIGHT!
(The author would like to point out that this is in no way representative of how she feels about Canada, a place she’s spent lots of time in, or, more specifically, Vancouver, her dream city, a place where, while she hopes their hockey team loses -and loses violently-, she hopes to retire in someday so she can watch the killer whales from her yacht -she will have a yacht- . She can prove it. She does speak French, after all, and has spent time utilizing this skill in Quebec. She just really, really, really hates your sports teams, Canada. Like, a lot. And she doesn’t actually like Ann Coulter. She is actually terrified of Ann Coulter and thinks she is the praying mantis of America.)
PS- Did you read this? Looks like our Bruins are getting the no-no from management about their apparel…
Gotta disagree with management on this one.