.500. Impossible.

.500. It’s possible.

Just not, apparently, for us.

Hopes dashed, just as we could see the light of mediocrity down that deep, dark, sucky, sucky, sucky tunnel.

See, I don’t think it was a light. It was a flame. A horrible flame from a horrible fire that consumes, consumes, consumes and leaves you as one of those photos on page one, the kid crying with a blanket as his house goes kablooey. We are the kid in the blanket whose house goes kablooey, oh god.

Why yesterday hurt worse than… oh… I don’t know… another day.

1. .500 hopes were kablooied.

2. We didn’t just lose for Boston. We lost for America.

3. We lost to John Farrell.

4. We were so frick-tasting-ly close. (Did it remind anyone else of an old school loss? The kind that doesn’t just split your mind with a bullet but lingers, makes you suffer a little bit… lets you come out of surgery okay and then, WHAM, blindsides you with its painful, heartwrenching conclusion- a mac truck as you’re crossing the street in front of the hospital)

5. It wasn’t a John-Lackey-so-we’re-bracing-for-pain kind of game. It was a Jon Lester game.

6. Tonight’s match up IS a John Lackey-brace-for-the-pain-kind-of-game. So. There’s that.

Feel free to add to this list in the comments.

Speaking of John Slackey…

The last time I blasted him pre-pitch, he turned it around and… was… um… kind of… awesome. Remember that?


John Lackey. You are a monstrous pit of a pitcher. A pit full of mediocrity, saliva and failure. And your lip is ridiculously large and offsets your gigantic head.

That oughtta do it…

See, I hate on my players all the time in anger. But I don’t usually mean it. Ask K-Youk. What is it about Lackey that makes me mean it? Because I do. I do mean it. I really, really, really want to send him back to Anaheim.

I really do think it has something to do with my hate-issue with the Angels.

I’m working on it. These things take time. And I am not the ONLY ONE who thinks Lackey has a few issues with acknowledging the crap he hurls across the plate.

Speaking of hate issues, still NEED YOUR HELP. Click here ASAP. Only two days ’till the Stankees…

Go Sox! For America, people. For America. Every time you strike out, Youkie-Bear, Canada wins. It’s what they WANT you to do.

Alec Baldwin! No!


  1. FireDannyAinge
    May 11, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    It’s not possible tonight I am afraid.

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