Home > Uncategorized > My auto-shop vacay

My auto-shop vacay

(my car looks exactly like this. except it has three tires, isn’t animated, is blue, has no flames, has a bunch of Boston stickers, and is a Chevy Aveo)

In other news, I was behind a car with the plate “Thrilla” today. The car sped off before we could be best friends.

So, third place, eh?

All that’s between us and the Stankees is Tampa Bay.

See, that’s good news. Because Tampa Bay is terrible. Really. April series aside, on paper- they are terrible.

So, all we have to do is sweep up the terrible and smush a few Stankees.

Easy, peasy, right?

With our next Stank series LITERALLY right around the corner- we as a nation need to come together for a common mission. The creation of as many Yankees jokes/puns as humanly possible. I’m talking lightbulb jokes, people. I’m talking about punny nicknames. Pun like you’ve never punned before.

In other news, I’m at an autoshop where I have been since 8 a.m. I would like to point out that my office has called me three times with increasingly angry voices implying that I should be teleporting. No, “gosh, Lauren, are you okay after your wheel soared off your car on a highway?” No, “poor Lauren, let’s give you a ride and buy you a soda pop for your trouble.” It’s all, “Lauren, we needed you twenty minutes ago.”

Keep in mind I got 26 hours of overtime last week. 26 hours. And worked 9 hours this past weekend. See, I’m supposed to be M-F.

Now that this mini-rant is over, I’m back to enjoying my autoshop vacation with hat guy. Let’s call him Skippy. He looks about nineteen, has a dented front tooth and is one of those guys whose rest position is mouth open, tongue tilted. Oh, joy. He’s looking at me again. If there was just a sandy beach, this would be perfect.

Can your wipers weather the storm? Mine can.

What delightful inspirational posters Clark’s Tire has.

De-fricking-lightful.

So, Twins tonight. Thoughts? Rants? Hopes? Dreams? Something, people! Comment for the love of fricking god. Minnesota, we’re going to flood you like Memphis. Too soon?

~L

—-

9:15 a.m. Skippy left. At first I thought he just discovered that the couch is wide enough for him to move out of my personal bubble, but turns out he’s really gone. And now I’m alone. It’s like, you don’t really appreciate people until they’re gone, you know? Like Jason Bay. Oh! They have Mad Libs!

9:22. So, Apparently, you CAN’T play Mad Libs by yourself. But you can create delightful ballads for future strandees to read.

9:46. I’m free! I’m free! And kind of terrified to drive because they “fixed it” for like $40. This isn’t a complaint. This is a… um… if my wheel falls off on my way to work and I can’t post again (you know, because I’m dead or something), please tell Kevin Youkilis I love him, okay? Tell him I didn’t mean that thing I said a few weeks ago. I was tired. And mad. And you weren’t hitting, Youkie-Bear! You know how I get when I don’t get my coffee. You’re still the only bat for me, baby…

PS- THIS is hilarious. Thanks, blog world.

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  1. Jup
    May 9, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Sounds like you and I have gotten similar vacations! My tire didn’t pop off but my brakes decided to not exist any more. But it’s fine…. Beckett is going to be so awesome that he’s going to make al the car troubles seem like they never even existed.

    • May 9, 2011 at 1:56 pm

      is it wrong that, when faced with a harrowing life-death dilemma on the road, my first thought is, well, at least i get to skip out on work for a few hours…
      yes. beckett will be so awesome. and k-youk will make that blasphematic (is that a word?) lackey score look piddly. piddly!

  2. BuckStopsHere
    May 9, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    wow quite an adventure you had today, hope everything gets better for ya! GO Sox and beckett goes seven innings tonight!

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