Dice and Beck’s excellent adventure.
So, as I was explaining to my blogger bro earlier- I’ve figured out what happened today. It’s just so obvious! I don’t know why we didn’t think of it before. So… ahem…
(Imagine that’s Dice-K and Josh Beckett and not Bill and Ted)
2011 Dice-K discovered the time machine Josh Beckett built (explains a lot about the rocket scientist wife, doesn’t it?).
Josh Beckett’s like, “You can’t prove anything.”
And Dice-K (“haltingly, through a translator”) is like, “Can too. And I’m going to tell everyone you’re really 2009 Josh Beckett!”
And Josh Beckett is like, “No one will believe you!”
And Dice-K is like, “Of course they will! I have a baseball card with your ERA!”
And Josh Beckett (the 2009 Josh Beckett) starts to freak out.
And Dice-K is like, “Don’t freak out, 2009 Josh Beckett. I’m sure we can come up with a solution that will work for everybody.”
And 2009 Josh Beckett is defeated, and he’s like, “What do you want from me?” <- but in a dramatic voice.
And Dice-K is like
“A trade… bring back pre-World Baseball Classic me and send 2011 me to somewhere nice.”
“Yes, somewhere nice. Like the south Pacific.”
And 2009 Josh Beckett is like, “How about Hawaii? That’s where I sent 2011 me.”
And Dice is like, “Sure. Why not?”
But 2009 Josh Beckett didn’t send Dice-K to Hawaii.
And that’s what happened.
Someone, quick! Destroy the time machine so they can’t come back!
I have an alternate theory. Maybe Farrell is a double agent…
On a semi-related note, another reason I’m in love with Kevin Youkilis- he’s got your back. Even if you’re scarily unreliable Dice-K. (Eating those words as I’m typing them) Nobody puts Dice-K in the corner. (anymore)
You know who shouldn’t talk to reporters? Curt Young. He’ll say something like this:
“he’s a guy that has such great command. I don’t think there should be any issues.”
Who’s he talking about? Beckett? Nope. Lester? Nope. Dice? Nope. Buchholz? Nope.
JOHN FRICKING LACKEY.
I know, I know. I’m already eating words where it comes to Dice- but there’s a difference. I’ve always liked Dice-K. I thought he was broken.
John fricking Lackey isn’t broken.
He just sucks.
See the difference?
So offense, you’re going to have to pick up the slack. No amount of fairy dust and clapping is going to help this one. Youkie-Bear, I’m leaving you in charge. We have an official win streak. Do. Not. Screw. It. Up.
It’s interesting. I questioned how switching Dice-K one day would make a difference. Tito, I will never question you again. At least for the rest of this blog post.