Riddle me this: 2 and 10.
Let’s play a game! A trivia game! Doesn’t that sound like fun, Theo? A quiz in five parts. Don’t worry, it will take a lot less time than that painful, excruciating attempt at… what exactly were we trying to do tonight?
1. 51 at bats. 7 hits. Who am I?
2. Who am I? Crazy throwing. A pop-up. .138. Oh, and a last name that’s longer than my Sox career will ever be.
3. Who am I? A $30 million dollar contract extension, and I’m still just “okay.” 3 hits. 5 walks. Saved from angry fan hotdog darts when the umps reversed a three-run homer.
4. I decided to let the birds have four runs on four hits. Just ’cause in the 7th. Who am I?
5. A pissed off girl in a Sox scarf that is so fricking tired of telling assholes in Braves hats that it’s “early” and to shove it.
“The boos are growing louder, the tweets harsher (e.g. @montana57 someone needs to be fired after tonight and this start to the season. This is terrible), the patience thinner, the anxiety greater.” ~ESPN
Answers: 1. $142 million dollars, that’s who. Aka: Carl Crawford. 2. Salty. 3. Buchholz. 4. Jenks (Stinks) 5. Lauren
Awesome! Great job, Theo! Five for five! Now that you recognize the problems, let’s see about creating solutions. Temporary fixes. Strategies. Plans. You know, those things Farrell writes down on legal pads in the BJ locker room? I’m sure he has an extra pen in case yours is busy writing checks.
The biggest riddle of all? What the frick is going on?
Dustin Pedroia, you’re swell.
K-Youk, I love you.
Everyone else, thank Fisk for Josh Beckett. Because he’s the only reason I’m not psychicly strangling you right now. And to suck in front of Farrell! In front of company.
What part of DO IT FOR AMERICA did you not understand in my pep talk? Why do you hate our troops, Bobby Jenks?!
Anyone think it was fitting that our newly contracted moolah player grounds out to lose the game?
And, Jed Lowrie fanatics- did you see Scut’s rally? Yeah. Scut had a rally.
Too little, too late.
Sometimes you just feel like screaming. Right, Meatloaf?
Other times you feel like crying.
Yeah. I can listen to Taylor Swift. What? Okay, fine.
So how are you doing, Soxies? Got any good riddles?
So, so, so, so happy to see the Beckster take the mound…