Home > Previews and pep talks > Happy two days without losing!

Happy two days without losing!

Happy two days without losing, Soxies! We’re on a hot streak and who are the fricking Blue Jays to cool us down?

I mean, birds? Please. They’re like the least intimidating mascot. I mean, socks… you can fill socks with heavy objects and create weapons. You can purchase googly eyes and create scary puppets. Oh, and monkeys. Sock monkeys. You could totally startle someone with a sock monkey.

And… um… serial killers, they wear socks. And our socks are red. Like matador flags. And blood. And blood is scary.

Birds? Please.


That’s just a movie. It’s fiction.

Birds are the opposite of scary.

Wow. That is one scary ass bird.


But these birds are Canadian.

“I don’t find Canadians particularly scary.”


And presidents are never wrong.

We’re not just representing Boston. We’re representing America.

Do you hear that Clay Buchholz? It’s not about us. It’s about America. So if you screw it up again, you’re screwing with America.

That, my friends, is a pep talk.

Yeah… I just got out of shooting a 4 hour awards banquet. I’m lucky my fingers move.

Anybody got any good bird jokes? Puns? Battle cries? We’re going to need them!

In all seriousness (well, as much as I can muster after four hours of “best of the best hamburgers” and “best of the best icecream” and “best of the best funeral home”- all real categories, mind you), two days of rest can only mean good things for the nation. Our offense gets to take that deep breath needed to push the bats and Clay (hopefully) gets a healthy meditation session. Maybe being in such close proximity to Farrell will kick start something. Anything.

Sports analysts across the internet seem to think Clay’s got what it takes, and he now has a contract extension and a hefty salary to back up that claim. Hopefully, he’s got the knuckles.

Because I’m not so sure about his smarts.

Apparently, our boy Clay was “taken aback” by Lackey’s skip.
“A little bit,” Buchholz said. “Lackey is that guy on our team that has been around a while … usually that’s the guy you’ll run out there to get out of a jam. I don’t know the whole reasoning behind it.”

Have you been WATCHING Lackey pitch, Clay?

This is a series we should take. So… hopefully my next blog (when I’m fully awake, functional and not ready to strangle a couch cushion), will be a chipper take on a Sox victory. And tomorrow? Josh fricking Beckett. Let’s get it while we can because Dice-K‘s on the horizon…


Dear Clay,





Still not pepped? This is the best I’ve got:

And how’s this for cheery words?

Johnny Damon finally got the frick out of Boston. Huzzah! I hope the Twins pound him tomorrow.

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  1. April 16, 2011 at 12:38 am

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