Home > Uncategorized > I can’t sleep and it’s because of that blasted Youkbot.

I can’t sleep and it’s because of that blasted Youkbot.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ

GIVES KEVIN YOUKILIS

A THUMBS UP.

I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

And Matt is not here. And I’m home alone. And there’s no one here to cheer me up. It’s like, 3 in the morning. And I stayed up late working on this gingerbread house that kerploded. And seriously. I need a hug or something, because this is brutal. Seriously. My gingerbread house, first of all, was NOT gingerbread. See, I cheated. I got what I THOUGHT was a kit at Walgreens. It turns out it is a chocolate house. Where you have to melt chocolate and mold it. And cool it. And stick it together. And that is stupid.

Chaos ensued and now I (and my counter) am covered in chocolate. And my little candy people are covered in chocolate. It’s like a chocolate Mt. Vesuvius blew up all over my chocolate Pompeii and my candy people are little chocolate fossils for future sugar architects to uncover generations from now. This is how the candy people lived, they will say. See? This guy didn’t even have time to leave his house when the chocolate volcano kerploded. Good thing that sucker is dormant.

They need a hero, that’s what they need. A-

It’s like God is listening to my internal monologue because Google just brought tidings of great joy.

Did you guys SEE this?

That’s the happiest thing I’ve seen since “The Situation” bashed his head into a wall in season four of Jersey Shore.

I miss Pedro. And Mike Lowell. And Kevin Youkilis. I think Bobby Valentine is keeping him captive somewhere. In like, a dungeon. Or a really big box. And he’s created a robot. A Youkbot. And that’s what might go to New York. The Youkbot.

Yep.

L

Sleep? You ready for me yet?

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. FireDannyAinge
    December 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Be prepared he is going to become a Yankee. The way he answered questions while he was in Boston doing his charity event. He is taking his time because he is still needs our money for his charity and once that is done he will become a Yankee.

    Just prepare yourself.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    December 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Oh and I am going to keep posting this in all your blogs to you acknowledge it because I want your opinion.

    Did you know that after our owners had that meeting with Curt Schilling in 2004 that he called up Brian Cashman and tried to get him to counter an offer so he could become a Yankee.

  3. December 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    It’s good to have you back, and I feel your pain. Lots going on in your life with work and Youk and stuff. At least you have your dogs there with you when they’re not barking at your Christmas tree and stuff…Hey, though, we’ll be in NC in May for like 12 baseball games if you and Matt want to meet us at one. I’ve only met a couple fellow bloggers at a game so far. Fun stuff.
    –Mike

    http://minoringinbaseball.com/

    • December 10, 2012 at 9:11 am

      I’d be totally game if you find yourselves in Durham Bulls Athletic Park! Or something else in the area (I hear there are others). FDA- Nothing about Curt Schilling surprises me. He is on my icky list.

      • iHateYouk
        December 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

        Did you read the comments Youk made to his uncle about how happy he is to be out of Boston and how he always wanted to be on the Yankees? If the stuff he said in private doesn’t make you hate him then they should take a way your Red Sox Nation card. Youkilis hated Boston and anyone that cheers him should be ashamed.

  4. FireDannyAinge
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