I can’t sleep and it’s because of that blasted Youkbot.
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
And Matt is not here. And I’m home alone. And there’s no one here to cheer me up. It’s like, 3 in the morning. And I stayed up late working on this gingerbread house that kerploded. And seriously. I need a hug or something, because this is brutal. Seriously. My gingerbread house, first of all, was NOT gingerbread. See, I cheated. I got what I THOUGHT was a kit at Walgreens. It turns out it is a chocolate house. Where you have to melt chocolate and mold it. And cool it. And stick it together. And that is stupid.
Chaos ensued and now I (and my counter) am covered in chocolate. And my little candy people are covered in chocolate. It’s like a chocolate Mt. Vesuvius blew up all over my chocolate Pompeii and my candy people are little chocolate fossils for future sugar architects to uncover generations from now. This is how the candy people lived, they will say. See? This guy didn’t even have time to leave his house when the chocolate volcano kerploded. Good thing that sucker is dormant.
They need a hero, that’s what they need. A-
It’s like God is listening to my internal monologue because Google just brought tidings of great joy.
Did you guys SEE this?
That’s the happiest thing I’ve seen since “The Situation” bashed his head into a wall in season four of Jersey Shore.
I miss Pedro. And Mike Lowell. And Kevin Youkilis. I think Bobby Valentine is keeping him captive somewhere. In like, a dungeon. Or a really big box. And he’s created a robot. A Youkbot. And that’s what might go to New York. The Youkbot.
Sleep? You ready for me yet?