Home > Daily Injection: Steroid news > Jose Canseco holds sign: “Will play for photo-ops.” Sox try to keep a straight face.

Jose Canseco holds sign: “Will play for photo-ops.” Sox try to keep a straight face.

Jose Canseco… um… Jose Canseco. Sorry. I’m struggling with how to type this and not sound sarcastic. Ahem. Okay.

Jose Canseco is making a comeback.

Inside Jose Canseco’s head.

“I’m trying my hardest and damndest,” Canseco said Tuesday in a phone interview with this newspaper. “I can’t get anybody to give me a chance. I saw the movie “Moneyball”, and I was amazed at what Billy [Beane] had to go through. I guess if you love something … that movie really got my juices flowing. I love baseball, people don’t know that about me. I miss it so much.”

It is like he KNOWS it’s a slow blog day.

“I’m 47, so my legs are not going to be what they were, but my bat speed and hands are still the same,” he said. “I can’t believe how fast (they are). I’m shocked how I haven’t lost a beat there.”

See. I could mount a wit attack here. But I think this story speaks for itself.

“Fenway 350 lifetime batting average 1 hr per every 9 at bats. I am ready to play for Boston give me a tryout.

The funny thing is that Canseco’s numbers are wrong. He’s a career .312 hitter at Fenway Park, and only averaged one home run per 13 at bats.

Really? THAT is the funny thing?

You best believe I’m a new Twitter fan. With quotes like this:

In case you can’t read that- it says:

“I guess murderers and child molesters get more chances than I do.”

Awesome.

See, I am not a fan of the juicing. We know this. We’ve all heard my juice rants.

But you know what I AM a fan of?

Comedy.

Buster Keatonesque, physical, slapstick comedy.

So I say, on behalf of myself and all comedy aficionados,

PLEASE LET HIM TRY OUT.

And televise it.

I mean, that’s comic gold. I can’t believe no one has thought of this before…

Oh wait.

Please, Bobby C? PLEASE??????? Can I order an advance dvd? Thanks.

~L

Seriously. How can you turn down the chance to share THIS with America?

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  1. drew
    January 25, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Hahaha wowwww. Maybe the blue jays should take him for the publicity….this way they can afford. Their bills in 2012

  2. January 25, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Jose is a child. A complete man child. It’s sad that he can’t see that. I just shake my head…
    -Jeff

  3. January 25, 2012 at 10:53 am

    I am ashamed to say I did see him on “Trump’s show” (that’s a story for another day, don’t judge). In any event, I can tell you based on his performance there he’s very likely not to get hired…for anything.

    • January 25, 2012 at 11:17 am

      I’ll own it. I saw him on Trump’s show, and it was AMAZING. I mean, he’s no Meatloaf, but it was classy television. CLASSY. I would hire him for my reality show in a second. I’d like to call my reality show: “Tryouts!” Where people like Jose Canseco can “try out” (get it?) for professional sports teams! Episode two will be called “O.J.” and chronicle O.J. Simpson’s plight to be on the New England Patriots. I think I’m looking at a goldmine here. A goldmine. And that, America, is how the Red Sox can fund Roy Oswalt.

  4. January 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    So true. There is only ONE Meatloaf. (did I mention I saw him in concert seven times…oh, I did already…never mind then…and again, don’t judge) Hey, that’s a great idea to fund the Oswalt effort. Y’all should sign him pronto. He’s still got gas in the tank.

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