Damn you, Stanks!!!!! That was OUR Osakan!
With puff-chesty vengeance, the Stankees stole OUR Osakan last night. Hiroki Kuroda is officially in pinstripes. And we’re officially stagnant, party of one.
Seriously. I was feeling a keen sense of camaraderie with the stripeys. They’re doing a fat load of nothing this offseason. We’re doing a fat load of nothing this offseason. I thought maybe, possibly, we could put this stanktastic rivalry aside and be friends. Buds. Mates. Play chess on the weekends. But NOOOOOOOOO. You had to stick your chest out and steal OUR Osakan. Don’t say I didn’t try, Hal.
Clearly, this means war.
Not roll-over and stay stagnant, BEN. That’s NOT the way we do things in Boston.
Now take out your checkbook. We KNOWWWWW they gave you a checkbook. You aren’t fooling ANYONE with your bargain binning, Benny C.
Fix this, Ben Cherington. Fix. This. NOW. It’s time to stop shopping off the rack.
Watch Texas. TEXAS KNOWS HOW TO PLAY.
In other news, the internet is a-buzz with the happy/confusing/conflicting news that Tekky could be back- news I reported with a mixture of glee and confusion last night.
Jason Varitek would make a move. Jason Varitek would make a big move.
I nominate Jason Varitek for GM.