Home > Uncategorized > Johnny Damon? Seriously? We’re talking about this? I blame YOU, Nick Cafardo.

Johnny Damon? Seriously? We’re talking about this? I blame YOU, Nick Cafardo.

(WARNING. The following post contains multiple, gag-inducing pictures of a jackass)

“There’s no way I can play for the Yankees, but I know they’re going to come after me hard. It’s definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It’s not what I need.” ~Johnny Rotten.

That was after winning a World Series. Remember? Oh, you know, I think he said something else after ANOTHER World Series… what was it… what was it… oh. Right.

“This is the greatest organization I’ve ever played for.” “Winning a world championship in New York is the most amazing thing I’ve experienced.” “I’ve always been a Yankee.” “No matter what happens in my career, I’ll always have this.”

See. I think that makes you a jackass, Johnny Damon. But not everyone agrees with me…

Alas, Bleacher Report. Our alliance was too good to be true. You go and print this filth:

Why not bring back Johnny Damon to start the season in right field?

Really, Bleacher Report? Really? You are going to force me to answer that moronic excuse for a question????

Let’s take away the fact that he’s old and gets taken down by fake grass. Let’s take away the fact that he’s been passed around to more teams than… than… well

Oh, and the fact that he’s a complete, egocentric jackass (can we take that away? Can we fit that through the door, guys?) who writes his own praises on, perhaps, the LAMEST personal website in an ever…

He is the biggest whiner in baseball!!!!! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE THAT???

Seriously. I think I do a gooooood job of documenting every time he whines. Do an archive search on my site. Go ahead. And I don’t get all of them. EVERY TIME he is in Boston, he says something snarky. EVERY TIME he plays Boston- he says something snarky. EVERY TIME he’s given an opportunity, he says something snarky. He is a bigger media whore than Curt Schilling. And he’s supposed to be busy. You know. PLAYING BASEBALL. And when he’s not being snarky, he’s acting all whimpery and hurt. Puh-leeze. Go blow your nose on your money, JD and leave the media out of it.

So, let’s take a September Soxsplosion team that’s disheartened and, let’s face it, whiny (how else would you describe the “unnamed sources’” state of mind?). And let’s add a whiner so weepy that he makes Andy Dick’s character on News Radio look attractive.

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE FENWAY PARK BLOW UP????????

The REALLY scary thing? There’s a poll. And, as of 10:53 a.m. today, 54.8 percent of Soxies say they’d welcome him BACK.

WHAT AM I MISSING? Is 54.8 percent of America on crack cocaine?

Seriously. Someone tell me when we decided to forgive the Idiot? Because I didn’t get that memo.

John Lackey doesn’t get a free pass for his jackassishness, and he still proudly wears the uniform. Johnny Damon??? Really???

Someone explain this using bullet points, please.

The reality is, Johnny Damon knows Boston.  He knows the city, the fans and the ballpark.

Really?

Because he was “surprised” at the fan reaction to his Stankee switch.

And he was “surprised” to hear boos upon returning to the park that let him grow his hair out.

Does that sound like a guy who knows the fans?

Or do quotes like-

You’re welcome for ’04. You’re welcome for making it fun again over there.

Make him sound like an egotistical jerkwad with a hankering to whine?  You tell me, America.

Seriously, Red Sox. You have pissed us off enough over the past year. You really want to throw Johnny Damon at us NOW? Not a good plan, guys. And Benny C- I don’t think you’re that stupid.

Johnny, go back to Tampa and leave us alone.

~L

  1. Paul Danahy
    January 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm | #1

    No argument here Soxy.At the bottom of the ocean sits whale poop.UNDER that is MR.JD

  2. January 11, 2012 at 3:02 pm | #2

    Seeing as his OBP and stolen base totals have declined over the last four years, and being 38, I’d be surprised if he didn’t wind up on the Pirates this year. When he went to NY from Boston, he should of just come out and said “It’s all about the money.” Honesty is a rare trait in baseball.

  3. January 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm | #3

    I’ve always liked JD, but I really enjoyed this post.

    Ron

  4. January 11, 2012 at 7:44 pm | #4

    I’m pretty certain…if memory serves…Damon…umm….has no arm? Right field? In Fenway? Can he even reach the infield from there?

    I’m with you, Soxy. As usual.

  5. FireDannyAinge
    January 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm | #5

    The media loves anyone the fans hate and vuce versa. If we all loved Demon the media would hate on him.

    The Boston media sucks.

  6. FireDannyAinge
    January 11, 2012 at 8:29 pm | #6

    Yankee fans are voting in that poll. They want him back here because he sucks and it will help them.

    They had a poll like this before and I talked to a million people at work and no one wanted him back. That poll is fixed.

  7. FireDannyAinge
    January 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm | #7

    Tampa doesn’t want him back.lol He is a last resort.

  8. January 12, 2012 at 4:33 am | #8

    Seems like an oil and water pairing to me too. I’ve always like Damon, but understand the bitter history here. Well, if your front office brings him back, the fans can always greet him with a sea of “…throws like Mary.” shirts.
    – Kristen

  9. January 12, 2012 at 10:51 am | #9

    I don’t want Damon back at all, because, like you said, he’s a traitor. Still, I have to say he’s still a pretty decent player, one that can definitely help a team. But not the Red Sox. Never.

  1. April 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm | #1

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