DODGING (hah! a pun! a pun!) Joe Torre. Carlos Silva. Jason Varitek. And other news to whimsy your Wednesday.

Joe Torre is NO LONGER AT MLB! Why? Because he wants to be George Steinbrenner when he grows up.
Sorry, Bud Selig. You’re going to have to find another sleepover pal to play Truth or Dare with on those long, lonely nights… you could always hire a friend. You can afford it.

This was right before they did each other's nails.
Joe Torre resigns from MLB!
And there was much rejoicing.
But I don’t know if they’re rejoicing in LA. Of course, I do think I heard a chorus of Well-it-couldn’t-be-worse-than-McCourt. A catchy tune, that one…
You’ll recall he stuck it to NY by managing the Dodgers in 08- a role he won’t be returning to…
And NY stuck it to him in a… well… we don’t have to go down that awkward memory trip again.
—-
- I hope you’ve got another facial expression…
And the Sox could be hoping newly signed Carlos Silva hulks into a badass…
Nick Cafardo reports we’re still interested in Roy Oswalt, Hiroki Kuroda, and Joe Saunders- but not their price tags.
…the price tags on them are not compatible with their budget restraints for the 2012 season.
But Nick Cafardo gets nothing from me until his other prediction comes true- the one about Jason Varitek.
While there’s lots of Tekky speculation- nothing is coming from the actual RED SOX- a point gracefully pointed out today by MassLive.
Maybe the Red Sox are formulating a creative plan for Varitek to return in some non-playing role but stay in shape, just in case.
If it’s anything else, they are not being polite by stringing Varitek along.
Seriously.
If the Sox hired Varitek as a coach or advisor, but told him to stay in shape in case an emergency need for a catcher occurred, I could see the logic.
Let’s do that.
In other news… Snowpocalypse averted in Boone, North Carolina.
And I get to write about basketball Friday. The new guy (UNC-Chapel Hill fan/musician. Let’s call him “Sweaters.” Yes. Because he wears sweaters.) is big into basketball. So, I guess this will just give me an excuse to nab a couple study sessions. Is it tacky to bring wine?
~L

It isn’t tacky to bring wine…unless there is a giant 20-20 across the front of the label.
oh- he just said that he would go to the basketball game with me… he said he had poker night but would ditch poker for me. that’s sweet… but it’s a little early to be yoko-ing the man’s poker game, right?
It’s never too early to break up the band, Yoko…especially if you wan’t to be making “Titanic” refereneces to for more than just Varitek.
If you become a Celtic apologist I will never forgive you.
neither would my family! don’t worry. it’s heat all the way.
Gotta think that the Sox bring Tek back, because Salty ain’t going to cut it, and it’s not like there are many catchers out there…Posada maybe? No, never mind, he won’t sign with the Red Sox.