Home > Daily Injection: Steroid news > Your daily injection! Braun’s still not talking about his syph-um… private medical issue. Oh. And Minka gets another gift basket.

Your daily injection! Braun’s still not talking about his syph-um… private medical issue. Oh. And Minka gets another gift basket.

Ryan Braun, stalked by TMZ AGAIN today… once AGAIN offers no explanation for his PED test…

See, as I reported last week, I could totally buy the “private medical issue” excuse- provided you give us a little more of an explanation.

I mean, if someone accuses me of something horrible and immoral… like… um… puppy murder. Or homeless sleeping bag stealing. Or, you know, steroids… I fess up my alibi. Even if my alibi is something less than Lauren-y. Like. Um. A Gossip Girl marathon over ice cream and regret. I mean, embarrassing is better than puppy murder or steroids, right?

Ryan Braun… is it syphilis? You can tell us. Christopher Columbus had that, you know. It’s Hep C, isn’t it? Leprosy?

We all know my opinion on the ‘roid issue. For new readers- I say exactly what David Ortiz has said-

Ban ‘em for the whole year.”

Except I add a “forever.”

Give us SOMETHING, Ryan Braun. Apparently, there are people that look up to you. An excuse. Any excuse, really, would be better than the flaky attitude you’ve been flicking at us. There might be an explanation.

When Ortiz was accused (Jay, take note) he had ALREADY fessed up to an energy shake that he was unsure of.  Pre-emptively in 2007:

“I tell you, I don’t know too much about steroids, but I started listening about steroids when they started to bring that shit up, and I started realizing and getting to know a little bit about it. You’ve got to be careful. I used to buy a protein shake in my country. I don’t do that any more because they don’t have the approval for that here, so I know that, so I’m off of buying things at the GNC back in the Dominican (Republic). But it can happen anytime, it can happen. I don’t know. I don’t know if I drank something in my youth, not knowing it.”

You could say SOMETHING, Ryan Braun. Celebrities don’t get privacy, see. But you do get millions of dollars, hence the me-not-feeling-sorry-for-you.

Oh, Braun… that’s not a shadow following you around…

That’s an asterisk.

—-

In other ridiculous roidy news- Alex Rodriguez is OFF THE MARKET.

Thank GOD, the market says. Until the market examines the catch. That catch is Torrie Wilson who, judging from the pictures, may share A-Roid’s juicing hobby. I don’t see this working out. I mean, what if they BOTH see a reflective surface? Staring at that window pane could waste a whole day, guys. Alex, it is such a newsy week for you.

Does anyone else think that A-Roid’s hookups will be a reality show some day?

—-

And, to round out today’s irrelevant gossip, the gift baskets must have gotten expensive… because Derek Jeter is back with Minka Kelly. Let’s all take a deep breath and pretend to care.

There. Now, don’t we all feel dumber?

You’re welcome, America.

~L

PS- Speaking of steroids- interesting position on Jeff Bagwell- read it HERE.

  1. December 31, 2011 at 10:43 am

    There was a Philly writer who went out of his way to say Bagwell should be in…then admitted he didn’t vote for him. Why? Because he MIGHT HAVE been on steroids. Here’s an idea, let’s not let anyone in who played between whenever someone THINKS this started and THINKS it ended. Oh wait, it HASN’T ENDED. Never mind.

  1. January 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 259 other followers

%d bloggers like this: