Home > Uncategorized > The Brave Little Toaster and why it’s going to be okay.

The Brave Little Toaster and why it’s going to be okay.

I’m hearing a lot of hate.

My mother.

You.

Everyone’s heartbroken about Josh Reddick, who, if you didn’t read my post from yesterday, is now officially a letter and not a Sox…

But, see, this movie doesn’t have to have a crappy ending.

We’ve all seen this situation before.

I think you know what I’m talking about.

This EXACT situation happened in a classic film from 1987.

I think it’s obvious where I’m going with this.

That’s right, ladies and gents. Classic of all classics, “The Brave Little Toaster.”

Allow me to explain.

Ahem.

Okay. So, there’s this toaster, right? Let’s just call him Josh. And, despite being BADASS (you should see the toast man, it’s stellar. Just add butter), toasters are a competitive lot. I mean, Josh is like a two toast toaster. And there are like, eight toast toasters at Walmart for just a couple of extra dollars. Even though Josh’s toast is faster. And crispier. And, um, energy star. And who eats eight pieces of toast anyway? So, when the kid grows up, let’s call that kid… oh, I don’t know… BEN. When the kid grows up, he’s going to get all these new appliances, right? Like an electric blanket that works and stuff.

So the Toaster, um, Josh, and his little friends (D-Lowe! Gotta have hope! Tek!) go on this walk about, right? And have these great adventures. All to find their kid again.

I mean, it’s scary. As we know, it’s not a movie for the faint of heart.

I mean, it has Joba Chamberlain…

And the Orioles…

Oh! Joe Maddon…

It’s a very scary movie, guys. Can you believe I watched this when I was three?

Anyway, SPOILER alert, the toaster comes back. And so will Josh. You’ll see. And when he comes back, we’ll all eat toast.

He just has to have an animated adventure first.

There. Feel better?

YOU ARE WELCOME.

~L

Never seen BLT? Well, this situation is also exactly like this movie… Except without the grizzly bears.

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  1. December 29, 2011 at 10:13 am

    True enough – Oakland never seems to keep anybody once they start hitting arbitration and making real money.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    December 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    i hate to see the kids go. besides Hanley none of the ex’s have become big stars. Well there is that guy that pitched the no hitter,

  3. December 29, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Last person to leave Oakland please, please turn the lights out. Soon. I grew up rooting for the A’s with the hometown Phils but seeing how this franchise has been run into the ground is too much to bear. It is absurd they are in limbo on a new stadium. If it ain’t comin’, it ain’t worth runnin. I read an ironic Tweet from Tim Cowlishaw wondering how ironic it would be if Brad Pitt wins the Oscar for “Moneyball” while Billy Beane has the worst team in baseball history ready to roll in 2012.

  4. December 29, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    And…a shout out to TooSoxy and all her other readers for a great New Year!!!

  5. December 30, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    I love “The Brave Little Toaster.” “North by northwest! Watch out for low-flying aircraft!!”

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