Home > Uncategorized > Ben Cherington’s still mirror-talking and we’ve got 52 days ’till training.

Ben Cherington’s still mirror-talking and we’ve got 52 days ’till training.

Picture it. Benny C. Straightening his collar (he has a collar), staring into that freshly windexed mirror, repeating to what looks back the same thing he’s been rambling since Theo patted him on the back a few months ago.

“You can do this, Ben! You got this. You da man.”

The lip-trembling figure staring back? Doesn’t look much more optimistic than I do, glaring into a computer screen here in Boone, North Carolina. Except I have better hair and my ears don’t stick out. Oh. And I wouldn’t quiver when I saw Larry Lucchino on my caller ID.

You can talk the talk, Benny C- at least when it’s your mirror and there’s no one but a Mr. Clean can there to ridicule you… but can you walk the walk? Or, more specifically, DO ANYTHING?

I’m fed up, Benjamin.

I don’t have to tell you Soxsplosion was bad. 2011? 2011 SUCKED. We, your nation, Mr. New-Theo, need inspiration. It’s like that time in “Independence Day” where our White House has been decimated and our pilots are about to blow up and you’re the president.

You are BILL PULLMAN, Ben Cherington. And we need inspiration.

STARING AT YOUR MIRROR IS NOT INSPIRATIONAL.

Remember what you said in September?

“For every pitcher you acquire,” Cherington said, “there are five more that you try to acquire.”

You’ve acquired….

And…

Well…

You lost out on-

And

Oh! And

And-

 And, well, just click here and look how many people we’ve just glowered at…

Oh! And we can’t forget about-

-Sniff!-

What I’m getting at here is…

It is Dec. 28. And you have done nothing but move Daniel Bard. A move I am neither pleased nor optimistic about.

It is Dec. 28. You hearing me? 52 days ’till pitchers and catchers report. Jason Varitek (this is called OPTIMISM. NOT DENIAL), Lavarnway, Shoppach and Saltalamacchia need someone to catch.

Fix this.

I have a few suggestions.

But I’m not the manager. You are. Now put on your big boy face, step away from the mirror, and get busy. Because I’d really like to forget 2011 when 2012 comes around.

~L

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  1. December 29, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Good analogy with Independence Day!

  1. December 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm

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