Home > Uncategorized > Bobby Valentine is the new Tito. Apparently, it was heads.

Bobby Valentine is the new Tito. Apparently, it was heads.

After a super tense coin toss-

(I imagine it went something like this, except it took two months):

- the Red Sox have their guy.

BOBBY VALENTINE.

That’s right. BOBBY FRICKING VALENTINE.

(Pretend to be shocked, guys! Pretend to be shocked!)

I imagine the club house will look kind of like this:

I only kind of meant that.

In all seriousness, huzzah for decision making, yes?

And I’m sure Valentine will take this very seriously. He’s a serious guy. After all, according to his wikipedia page, he was named director of public safety for Stamford, Connecticut, a town that’s been mentioned in “The Office” like twice.

I am sure he will be well liked and respected. I mean, see? There’s already a Facebook group devoted to the guy. Oh. Right…

To celebrate the decision, I’ve compiled a few of my favorite Bobby Valentine clips for your perusal.

Oh! And don’t forget how friendly Bobby V is-

And who can forget THIS MOMENT? It won’t let me post the video. But the link is so very, very swell.

Let’s welcome our new skipper, shall we? Officially. What advice would you have for Bobby V? Let him have it in the comments. Here’s mine:

Seriously, guys. I’m just so happy we picked somebody. I’m so happy that it’s shot-thirty in tequila-ville.

Ellie does not look quite as thrilled as she did a minute ago. It's probably because she knows she doesn't get tequila.

~L

Have you twittered me yet?

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  1. evanvogel
    November 29, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    What a random hire. Did they even interview anyone after Sveum? Looks like ownership is maintaining their foot in mouth moves. They’re going to miss Theo and Cherington looks to be a puppet already. Valentine is a name but if he wasn’t good enough to get a job after leaving MLB in 2002, he shouldn’t be taking over the Sox now, in my opinion. Great and entertaining post! http://www.thebaseballhaven.wordpress.com

  2. FireDannyAinge
    November 29, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Dear Bobby,
    Rule the roost and DON’T let the spoiled brats (I am looking at you Josh Beckett) screw this up again.

    120 wins next year. You heard it here first:)

  3. November 30, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Worst hire in professional sports history. Friend told me that in 15 managerial seasons, Valentine has only made the postseason 1 time. One mother fucking time. That is just brutal. I hate to say this, but I may become a Yankees fan because I cant stand listening to what comes out of his mouth. The only good thing that comes out of this is that we wont have to listen to him on Sunday night baseball or at the Little League World Series. Forgot when it was, think it was first two games of ALCS when Tito was on the call with Buck, but Tito was incredible, so much insight on the game. Bobby V doesnt even know David Ortiz’s name.

  4. November 30, 2011 at 11:41 am

    First thing any baseball “man on the street” would say when asked what they know about Bobby V. “Hey, wasn’t he the guy who got tossed and came back into the dugout in disguise?” The second comment might be something along the lines of, “Hey, isn’t he that idiot on ESPN?” I don’t know if this is the worst hire in pro sports history but it automatically cracks my Top Ten without any research. Away from MLB for almost a decade…Japan doesn’t count…neither does serving as a TV analyst. Not to mention the fact he’s going into a circus atmosphere with the reputation of a circus clown. A dark day in Boston Red Sox history. I feel for all Red Sox fans who, coming off the meltdown of September, now got this lump of coal in their stockings. ESPN always through him out there as a candidate for every opening to try to make him more credible…who knew some organization would be stupid enough to hire him? Just his grin sets me off. Brutal with a capital BRUTAL.

  5. November 30, 2011 at 11:45 am

    I was so upset I misspelled “threw” above. I mean seriously. A couple of wild card berths a decade ago. They should have upped the offer to Papi and let him be a Player/Manager. That would have made more sense. Or Youk. Or anybody…other than Bobby Frickin’ Valentine.

  6. November 30, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Not quite sure about this move. Maybe it will work out, but I am surprised by it.

    Ron

  7. FireDannyAinge
    November 30, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    I heard nothing but bad things about Tito before he got here. A lot of Philly fans hated him. Then we won two world series and those same Philly fans got quieter.

    I say we GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE, Then we hate on him if he sucks.

  8. S. D. Horne
    November 30, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    What about Theo compensation? You think the Sox aren’t chasing any free agent pitchers because we might get Garza? I hate that guy, but he’s a decent player.

    • November 30, 2011 at 11:39 pm

      honestly? i think they’re so shellshocked from soxsplosion, 2011 that they’re afraid to breathe. hopefully, now that we have a manager, we can actually make some real decisions.

  9. November 30, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Nah..the worst hire in professional sports history was every time MLB kept making Bud Lite the commissioner.

    What movie was that “heads” clip from? Is that Gary Oldman??

    • November 30, 2011 at 11:39 pm

      why, rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, of course!

  10. Sal
    December 1, 2011 at 8:03 am

    hey soxy congrats on getting your man. I think your boy Lucchino has mastered the art of grabbing the back page, somebody had to take over George’s legacy, might as well be John Henry and company. After all Henry learned at the knee of King George as a minority owner back in the day. let’s get the party started.

  11. December 1, 2011 at 9:24 am

    I believe he will be good at managing the team and baseball situations. The part that worries me is his bad relationship with the GM while managing the Mets; why did that happen? That was a big problem for the Mets at the time, and was counter-productive. He has a big ego, maybe he was taking all the credit when things went well and laying blame on the GM when things didn’t, or something like that. He will work well here if his ego doesn’t take over, which might be too tempting for him with all the press coverage and strong following of the Sox. Either way it should be entertaining. Like FDA said, let’s give him a chance, the benefit of the doubt. I’m just glad they hired SOMEBODY at this point, I think it was hurting progress on the rest of what they need to get done, feels like they are already late on structuring the 2012 roster.

  12. cybellekate
    December 1, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Why can’t I shake the feeling that ownership threw a bunch of pictures on a wall, blindfolded themselves, spun around, pointed, took the blindfolds off, and saw that they were pointing at Bobby Valentine….

    • December 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm

      could i see an artist’s rendering of that, ck? thanks.

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