Please don’t make me choose. Jacob versus Edward. Papi versus Youk. It’s a metaphor, people.
Choosing didn’t work out so great for Bella.
She ended up glittery, ripped open and a teen mom.
Of course, she did get some nice clothes, a mansion and a car. And there’s that whole eternal life thing.
Fire Brand of the AL says I might have to choose: Papi, my family. My mascot. Versus Kevin Youkilis. The love of my fricking life.
Juliet chose. Remember that?
Didn’t work out so well, did it?
Nope. No matter which interpretation you grew up with.
But seriously. Claire Danes was flat. Wasn’t Clair Danes flat? She’s no Olivia Hussey.
Claire Danes was so rigid she might as well have been in this movie.
Which, according to my four-year-old niece, is actually great. So that argument holds no traction. Because she has good taste. She likes pineapples. So. There’s that.
But then there’s Shiri Applebee’s ABC Family classic, Pizza My Heart. Where “Juliet” gets to keep Romeo AND her family. And she’s a person and NOT a gnome.
Not only did she get both her metaphorical Papi and her metaphorical Youkilis- in the end, everyone gets pizza.
What can we learn from this, Soxies?
I think it’s obvious, don’t you?
Mellow Mushroom for lunch.
Please, Ben Cherington. Don’t make me choose.
I can’t. I love too deeply.
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