RIP, John Lackey! Ahhhhhh… memories…
Day two of a bright, shiny Lackeyless year. Inspired by the folks at CBS, I started thinking about great Lackey moments of 2011, Too Soxy style.
April. That time you made me bawl, John Lackey. BAWL. It was Texas. And I was crying. And you were there. And you SUCKED.
Remember Allllll those times when we BEGGED you not to suck.
That time you were “less than pleased.”
That time you took responsibility for something! I marked it on my calendar with an exclamation point.
That time you strained your shoulder!
That time you lost to the White Sox…
Oh! And that time you came back and the Bruins lost. Coincidence?
Remember when we threw you at Canada?
It hasn’t all been bad. Remember when I tried to compliment you?
Remember when Francona said you “lost (your) feel?”
Oh! Oh! Oh! When ALLLL the blogs compared you to a sloth. ALLLL the blogs.
Oh! And that time I wanted you deported after the Padres loss.
Remember that time you gave up 8 hits and made me not want to live in Boston?
We did lose a couple games that weren’t ENTIRELY your fault.
The game that posed the question: “Why, John Lackey? WHY?”
That time I added you to the DL- the DENIAL LIST for being ridiculous.
That time Joe Maddon went crazy after losing to you, John Lackey.
And who can forget that game that you played where MIKE LOWELL came back. I mean, I can’t remember if we won. You were pitching. But MIKE LOWELL was there.
Oh! When Lackey actually won but I made fun of him anyway and compared him to Jaws from James Bond!
And who can forget that time you let five runs swing by- oh- and when you broke Bard. Ah… memories…
And the emo post you inspired right before basketball guy came back from the dead. Maybe I should… thank you for that one?
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And that time you helped us strand 16. Remember that, Lackey?
Oh! Your start Sept. 9. Remember that, John Lackey? No? Click here.
And that time Sept. 19 when John Lackey broke our hearts. AGAIN.
Oh! Oh! Oh! That time where Lackey sucked and we won (and he just “didn’t know how to explain it,” man…).
That game Lackey pitched Sept 25 where we won, but not really, because Jacoby Ellsbury is the only one who played.
And, of course, the BEST day: That time our new favorite problem-solver Ben Cherington announced a Lackeyless 2012.
It’s kind of heartwrenching going back to the beginning. Where it all began. From Dice-K heartbreak to Reyes fails to Bad-bad Bobby Jenks. What a long, strange trip it’s been. And Lackey… you were a big part of that downward spiral.
How does hospital chicken taste? <- Is that mean? Is that too mean?
Sorry. I just read blogs from April.
What’s your fondest, most teeth-gritting moment of the Lackey spiral?