It's okay, Zooey Deschanel. We would have bolted too.

A World Series this boring needs cartoons.

Maybe that would have kept Zooey and company there past the 6th inning.

Seriously. I don’t even know what’s going on. I think this is the first year I haven’t watched the World Series AT ALL.

What a strange world to live in where we’d rather watch Gossip Girl reruns than baseball.

Apparently there was an almost comeback? And we STILL didn’t care to watch? I don’t know what you guys need to do to get ratings, Selig.

I just. Don’t. Know.

“This will probably be the lowest-rated World Series since the invention of the vacuum tube.

All of which supposedly confirms the following:

The World Series needs big-market teams.

The NFL is king.

Modern Family is more entertaining than Alexi Ogando.

The sky is falling on baseball.”

Seriously. The most exciting thing so far? A fricking whiffle ball. Most people DON’T EVEN KNOW THE WORLD SERIES IS ON. And, if it hadn’t interrupted episodes of “Glee” and “the New Girl,” well, no one would know.

Maybe you should talk to your ESPN buddies and get them to help promote your series. You know. Instead of devoting all its baseball screen time to a Soxsplosion that’s supposed to be over. Just a thought, Buddy.

And Joe Torre… aren’t there more productive things you could be doing? Like, I don’t know…. PRETENDING to root for the Cards? Wikipedia says you did play for them… and manage them… for like FIVE YEARS.

Right. My apologies, Joe. That was pre-Stankees. Must not count.

~L

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