Home > Scary Red Sox Rants > Soxy support.

Soxy support.

Words of encouragement needed. Today=hellastress.
That’s right. It’s worthy of a new word: hellastress.
Defined in the Soxy dictionary with a big picture of ME TODAY.
The photo kind of looks like this:

Except with better hair.
But we won yesterday (thanks, guys), so, there’s that.
So If I just take a deep breath I’ll…
WHAT?????

The recent talk around the baseball world has been about whether the Chicago Cubs would consider targeting Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein as the person to rejuvenate the Cubs’ organization if the GM position became available.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

You are kidding me, right, Theo? This is all a bigggggg joke. You wouldn’t drop John Lackey off on our fricking doorstep and then jaunt to the big C… no. NO. No. You wouldn’t do that to me. No..

“Theo is one of the elite GMs in baseball, and he’s proven that year after year by piecing things together when we get hurt or whatever,” Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett said. “Why wouldn’t Theo want to make his life better by being one of the best GMs in baseball? I hope he doesn’t leave, but if he does, I’ll understand. He’s done a great job since I’ve been here.”

Josh, love, my darling, SHUT YOUR FACE.

Oh, whyohwhyohwhy did THAT have to come up on my Google search?

It’s okay. Breeeaaaathhheeee, Lauren. Breatthhheeeee.

Let’s read this stress free article about amazing AL offense, shall we?

What?!

The Yankees’ 22 runs were the most scored by any team this season. The Bronx Bombers now have four of the seven-highest tallies posted by a single team this year, all of them coming in the last six weeks, and two of them coming against the A’s, a team that ranks among the league leaders in run prevention this year.

Frick-double-frick, guys.

A double header Saturday. Hah. Well, that’s only fair. I have two shows Saturday.

And the Sox about to expand their minor leaguer additions on the roster…

Okay. I need to say good bye internet.

I’m like stress bubblewrap. But it’s more like bubblewrap if it were dominoed. You know, like a row of mousetraps? Where one goes and they all just start pop-pop-popping and no one’s toes are safe? It’s like that. But bubblewrap. And brains.

~L

Youkie tossed a ball! Youkie tossed a ball!
We’re saved!

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  1. August 26, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Surely, Theo won’t leave us! Please?

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