Home > Uncategorized > Just can’t win.

Just can’t win.

Inspired by fellow blogger Jup.

Jup, you see, doesn’t like Jacoby Ellsbury (who she calls Pretzels). And is unapologetic about it:

You’re not getting me on that bandwagon. It looks crowded, and I’m not that social. After giving it thirty seconds of thought, Pretzels has Kevin Cash syndrome. No matter what he does, no matter how well he plays, I won’t like him, and I don’t have a legitimate reason.

I get it.

No, I do.

I am a staunch Jacobist. Always will be (as long as he stays anti-juice) thanks to a well-timed home steal against Pettitte that one time.

But it got me thinking…

Who’s that player that you’re unapologetic about? Who’s that player that can’t do right by you, even if they work the win?

I have two, really. You know my anti-Lackeyness… (who I grimace at even on the few outings where he kicks) but unless you’ve been paying close attention- you may not know about my anti-Jed Lowrie-ness. I can’t explain it, really. I think it’s because he’s always injured. But Dice-K is always injured. And much more of a liability. And I find myself missing him, that little smirk he does when he sizzles. You know?

Jed Lowrie? I don’t even miss him when Scut anti-sizzles. You know. That thing he has been doing ALL THE TIME lately.

So who is it that cringes your last nerve? That you force yourself to watch? That you root for BECAUSE he’s on the home team?

And, on the other side of the spectrum… who do you unapologetically defend with every fiber in your fan being, often for no reason? Who will always be on your fantasy team? Even when he’s swinging strikes and falling face first into the baseball dirt on his way back to the dugout?

I don’t have a player like that. Nope.

KEVIN YOUKILIS DOES NOT COUNT. HE IS PERFECT.

~L

Non-Sox fans? Same question.

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  1. Jup
    August 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm | #1

    I also felt the same way about Lugo… not that Lugo ever helped win anything.

    And on the opposite end, hands down Jason Varitek. That man can swing at every high fastball in the universe and I’ll defend his decision to strike out every time. Because don’t be fooled, it’s ALWAYS his decision.

  2. August 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm | #2

    Well, Jimmy Rollins called Philly fans frontrunners once and it has been difficult to get past that. He also had a nasty Adrian Gonzalez habit of not running out balls all the time back in the day. Shane Victorino can do nothing wrong. I am about to add Hunter Pence to the list with Shane now that he’s escaped the cesspool that are the Last-tros.

  3. FireDannyAinge
    August 4, 2011 at 9:17 pm | #3

    OMG I hated Kevin Cash too but I know why I hated him. Two words, Doug Mirabelli.

    Tek can strike out. He just has to stop hitting into DP. That drives me nuts.

    Player I hate. Youkilis:) Sorry (Not really sorry but I wanted to be polite AND invited to the wedding) his mouth. It makes me hate him. Then again I have no complaints about him as a player so maybe he doesn’t work here. I can’t stand Carl Crawford. Too much past bad blood.

    Defend, Um D-Lowe. I don’t care if he is a heal of a husband. I love him and I will defend him til the death of anyone.

  4. FireDannyAinge
    August 4, 2011 at 9:18 pm | #4

    I love Mike Lowell’s reaction at the top of the steps on Jacoby’s steal home.lol That was classic.

  5. FireDannyAinge
    August 4, 2011 at 9:20 pm | #5

    One more comment. My sister was at that game Jacoby stole home. She took her stupid husband instead of me, Bitch.

  1. August 4, 2011 at 10:06 pm | #1
  2. December 14, 2011 at 1:22 pm | #2

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