Home > Sox Game Recaps > NOOOOOOO! Wrong JL. WRONG JL!

NOOOOOOO! Wrong JL. WRONG JL!

Jon Lester. 15-day disabled list.

John Lackey. On another kind of DL.

The DENIAL List.

And no. I’m not talking about a river in Egypt.

I’m talking about a sloth on the mound.

DENIAL.

But who is in greater denial? John Lackey, who has an ERA of OVER 7.4, allows 7 runs in like three innings AND then says things like ““Overall, my arm felt pretty good?”

Or Theo Epstein, for STILL holding on to his $85 mill investment? An investment that is making the 2008 economic collapse look like a checking error.

Despite BUZZ to the contrary, he’s still around. Or maybe we’ve just ALLLLLL got our JLs mixed up. JOHN LACKEY, God. NOT JON LESTER.

Perhaps we should have all been more clear. That’s the last time I close my eyes and wish with initials alone.

“Maybe,” coworker-who-barely-knows-what-baseball-is says, to stop me from continuing ANOTHER John Lackey rant, “This Ted Epstein doesn’t have cable.”

I don’t have cable.

“Maybe,” exasperated coworker says, “He’s not as tech savvy as you with the internets.” (yes, we say the internets, plural, in THIS office)

He makes like, a BAZILLION dollars.

“Maybe,” dead-inside-coworker says, “He has better things to do than fire pitchers.”

He makes like, a BAZILLION dollars to do this.

“Maybe,” bleary-eyed coworker says, “You should save this for your blog.”

But, I already blogged about John Lackey. Like… ALL THE TIME.

And then he told me to shut up. Me. I know. The nerve of SOME PEOPLE.

~L

PS- as for YESTERDAY? I thought he was out. Don’t like it? Petition Bud Selig for robot umps. Oh-oh-oh- And Johnny Damon hurt his ‘ittle wrist. I’m playing “Cry me a River” on my way home from work.

—–

PS- MORE STEROID NEWS. Awesome. They should call today WednesROIDday.

Alex Rodriguez’ doctor pleaded guilty today in federal court for… *drum roll* bringing drugs from Canada… including *another drum roll* HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE!

Awesome. Thanks, guys. For CONTINUALLY throwing the juice in America’s face.

————-

Other athletes on…

the DENIAL List:

Johnny Damon (I’m still relevant! Hall of Fame, hear I come!)

Roger Clemens (They were manly vitamins, man! Andy is my BEST friend)

Andy Pettitte (Roger is my BEST friend)

Derek Jeter (I’m still in the game!)

Jason Giambi (Wow, people sooooooo care about what I have to say)

Coco Crisp (This hairstyle is a GREAT look for me!)

Tiger Woods (I can change!)

Dale Earnhardt Jr (It’s a real sport. Really.)

The US Women’s Soccer Team (People are sooooo watching us on television right now. Sad but true, people. )

Maxim Lapierre (Je suis étonnant!)

Dirk Nowitzki (I have normal arms. Really. You guyyyssssss)

Jorge Posada (I could totally play another five years)

Manny Ramirez (This will ALLLL blow over)

Alex Rodriguez (They ALLLLL want to be my girlfriend)

The Cubs (It will happen our lifetime, guys!)

Got anymore? I’m trying to compile an official list. Then I’ll move onto actors. That means you, Nicholas Cage!

  1. FireDannyAinge
    July 6, 2011 at 7:33 pm | #1

    I am in denial. I plan on being rich one day and telling my bitch boss off and walking out the door making a huge mess. Add me to the denial list. This will never happen.

    Youkilis just hit a homerun.

  2. FireDannyAinge
    July 6, 2011 at 10:30 pm | #2

    Did you see those whores with the marry me Yoooouk sign? Unless that whore was you and you are in town and didn’t tell me?????

  3. July 7, 2011 at 12:39 am | #3

    If that whore was me, you would know. On the inside. I did not see the whores. I hope they are in the game recaps…
    we won. that’s nice.

  4. July 7, 2011 at 7:27 am | #4

    Johnny Damon is dead to me. I kind of miss Coco Crisp. I like his name. Sounds like breakfast cereal. You should add Joba the Hutt to your list. But I love that you have Giambi Juice on there. He is at the top of my “hated players” list.

  5. July 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm | #5

    See, TooSoxy! Bickleyhouse likes Coco Crisp for breakfast also! I’m koo-koo for Coco Crisp!!!

  6. FireDannyAinge
    July 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm | #6

    I must admit I also love Coco. I don’t love the hair and I loved the smile and the out field defense. I Loved Coco more then Jacoby( Though that could be me preparing for him becoming a Yankee next year. He has Boras as an agent and his “agent” mentioned Carl Crawfords contract in the paper the other say. NO ONE IN HELL, Jacoby gets that from us.

  7. FireDannyAinge
    July 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm | #7

    Also did you see the comments Dampon made about Jacoby? They were in the Herald. They will make you scream.

    I wrote that my mistake but Damon’s new nick name is now dampon like Tampon. Ha I love it.

  1. July 6, 2011 at 5:28 pm | #1
  2. October 26, 2011 at 11:48 am | #2

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 259 other followers

%d bloggers like this: