I'll have one rally with a side of John Lackey-deportation, please!

Okay. I don’t want to alarm anyone… but we’re being watched. Really. See, yesterday, when John Lackey drowned in a sea of our own tears… They were waiting in the shadows. Lurking. WATCHING US.

THEY have been there all along. Their beady little eyes glowing blue in the darkness.

Doubters. Haters. Watching 9-streakers turn into Padre losers. Biding their time until we fall from our ALE throne.

That’s what they want, you see… and they may have their opportunity… their opportunity to rip new era series #3 from our grasp…

But we, ladies and gentlemen, are going to pull a Dylan Thomas. We will NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT!

RAGE, people! RAGE! AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT.

I don’t know about the mighty fighting sandwiches, but we plan to rage into Soxtober, if we have to barrel through 6,000 pounds of baseball dirt to do it. Do you hear that, haters?

So, Tito, do you what you have to for interleague play. But it’s time to get serious. It’s time to truly put April behind us. To put John Lackey behind us (and to Anaheim? Anyone?). It’s time to follow Dylan Thomas’ advice and RAGE. RAGE, RAGE, RAGE. Because we can NOT let yesterday happen again.

It’s time to rally.

~L

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PS- When they’re not plotting our demise, they’re calling us obsessive. See?

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PS- Who else hates interleague play? Really? Besides the Brewers? I mean, I enjoy watching Josh nail the rocks instead of throw them… but he’s sick, so that’s gone…

Silly national league. Baseball is for Boston!

I AM SO TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT JOHN FRICKING LACKEY! LET’S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT!!!!!

Make him stop, Tito.

You’re a manager. A manager, Tito! MANAGE THIS!

Here. Be inspired.

Please send him back to Anaheim. Please?

It’s not just about Wednesday. It’s not just about all the other times he screws up. It’s his attitude. I think this article does a great job of articulating a few of my Lackey thoughts. You know, without comparing him to Sloth from the Goonies.

“With 3.5 years left on his $82.5 million contract, life is going stink a lot more than it needs to if he can’t provide simple answers to innocuous questions regarding what role the weather played in a game.”

We get it, John Lackey. You HATE the media. They give you a hard time. They hurt your ittle feelings. So pull a Carrie and start annihilating! When they throw pig’s blood, that’s your cue to go psycho nuts at the prom! Not lose to the fricking Padres! Don’t you watch movies????? Maybe that’s part of your problem!!!!!

I did find ONE optimist in my Google News search. ONE.

Oh, and I found this article about how John Lackey’s pretty much Theo’s Waterloo.

And, let’s not forget this article, entitled “John Lackey: The Worst Pitcher in Baseball.” See, Tito?! SEE?

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