Home > Previews and pep talks > They want to coat our nation in syrup and feed us to a moose herd. Really. I heard it from Michael J. Fox.

They want to coat our nation in syrup and feed us to a moose herd. Really. I heard it from Michael J. Fox.

Tonight, the United States, whether we are baseball fans or hockey fans, stand together.

Tonight, we fight Canada!

Cue the Pledge of Allegiance!

Seriously. Why isn’t your hand over your heart? Do you hate America?

Because JoJo Reyes does!

Do it for the troops, Boston!

Those wiley syrup makers are trying to take over, eh! They’ll bring their moose (the size of pickup trucks, I tell you!) and their hats and their bacon and their gravy fries. They’ll put wigs on our lawyers and Nickelback on our radios! Do you like Nickelback? Well, do you, punk?

Tonight… WE FIGHT!

(The author would like to point out that this is in no way representative of how she feels about Canada, a place she’s spent lots of time in, or, more specifically, Vancouver, her dream city, a place where, while she hopes their hockey team loses -and loses violently-, she hopes to retire in someday so she can watch the killer whales from her yacht -she will have a yacht- . She can prove it. She does speak French, after all, and has spent time utilizing this skill in Quebec. She just really, really, really hates your sports teams, Canada. Like, a lot. And she doesn’t actually like Ann Coulter. She is actually terrified of Ann Coulter and thinks she is the praying mantis of America.)

PS- Did you read this? Looks like our Bruins are getting the no-no from management about their apparel…

Gotta disagree with management on this one.

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  1. June 10, 2011 at 5:27 pm | #1

    Not overly keen on the anti-Canadian sentiment, as any where is beeter than England, enjoyed reading your blog, thanks for taking the time to read mine!

  2. FireDannyAinge
    June 10, 2011 at 8:40 pm | #2

    I hate when sarcasm gets lost on the young. Don’t you too soxy?

    Just for the record it was Canada that said this was USA vs Canada so if you start a fight and get your ass kicked because of it do you really get to complain you were hit? I think not.

    You know my motto

    fuCanada Go Bruins!

  3. June 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm | #3

    Look, I heard those people in Vancouver sing our National Anthem (which isn’t easy to sing, especially if you are a celebrity!) pretty loudly and proudly. I can’t bang on them or Canada. Been to Canada twice and liked my experiences there. May go there again and want no issues getting through customs so no negative words coming from me on their country. I took two years of French in high school and even got credit for one of them.

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